With NASA’s final launch yesterday, Atlantis, mothers nationwide were left in a state of disarray and confusion.
Now that the space program is ending, once a staple of U.S. identity for more than 40 years, mothers will not be able to rely on telling their kids they can one day grow up to be the President or an astronaut.
Mothers all over the country raised up in protest over NASA’s decision, demanding more space exploration efforts. Moreen Du’Bois, mother of 5, was in near hysteria as she talked to reporters, “I mean what do I tell my kids at the dinner table?! I can’t just say you can grow up to be the President and then nothing else. YOU ALWAYS GIVE YOUR KIDS BACK UP DREAMS!!!!
She was joined by several other mothers who were at their wits end as they issued a formal suit to NASA’s head, Michael Griffin, who replied to the suit that ‘each space mission costs an upwards of 50 million dollars, there is just nothing in the budget anymore’.
The mothers angrily replied that there is no price to be had on our children’s hopes and dreams and shamed Michael Griffin for a continual three hours until his grief over took him and he pulled out his .45 he has kept hidden in his desk drawer and blew his brains out.