Full Credits

Stats & Data

4Funny
0Die
80
Views
July 31, 2017
Published
Description

He thinks this is why I wanted him to watch the show :(

I’ve always had a difficult time making Brian see things from the female perspective, but I’ve put up with it throughout our relationship because he gives decent dicking. Like most women, I was excited about Hulu’s release of “The Handmaid’s Tale”, a book I read in high school but Brian didn’t. His all-boys assigned Lord of the Flies that semester, which I guess is understandable. Why would teenage boys need to read about something that might only happen to women?

I thought it would be a hard sell to get him to watch it until he realized it also starred Gilmore Girl’s Alexis Bledel. Brian once dated a girl who reminded him of Rory Gilmore and reminds me all the time.

After we got through the first episode and I managed not to fall into a blow job trap like he did during “Orange Is The New Black”, Brian looked down at me with both a grin and a tear in his eye. “He gets it!” I thought.

“Why couldn’t you just tell me?” he asked. Before I could go on about my everyday fears and triggers as a woman, he opened our apartment door to Shelby, the hot blonde neighbor who always drops her keys when she’s wearing mini skirts.

“…that you wanted a THREESOME?!” he beamed.

When he was supposed to be learning, Brian had really been texting hot blonde neighbor Shelby to come over and be the middle part of “the ceremony”. In “The Handmaid’s Tale”, the “ceremony” is when the man has sex with the fertile handmaid but makes it look like he’s sexing his wife, who sits her vag atop the girl’s head and makes sure no one enjoys it. Everyone is fully-clothed and using any sense of rhythm is forbidden because sex isn’t about fun in a utopian society.

“Hey, I’m here to get fucked,” Shelby sputtered as she crunched on a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop and sauntered into the door.

“Brian! This isn’t what ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ is about!” but before I finished my sentence, Shelby had already covered herself in one of our spare red bedsheets and laid down on the couch.

“This is a weird maid’s costume” she astutely noted. Not sure why she didn’t head for the bedroom, but the frozen Hulu screen added to the moment.

“I’m the Commander!” Brian yelled as he starting rubbing one out to get hard. It reminded me of the time we tried to have sex on a plane and he called himself “The Captain”, then we hit turbulence and he slammed his dick into the little sliding bathroom door. Both were not sexy. Why AM I dating Brian?

The surprise was enough for me to break up with Brian right there, until it dawned on me how selfless it was of him to watch “The Handmaid’s Tale”, a TV show completely unrelatable to him and his male experience, in the first place. When boys sacrifice things like that for you, it’s only right to thank them with sex.

I held down Shelby’s sun-dried arms as Brian railed on her in what was now my first official threesome. After he came inside her and shouted “Commander!” in his final blow, Shelby asked if I wanted my pussy eaten, but Brian explained that that wasn’t a part of the show. Wow, he really DID pay attention!

We’re expecting our baby from Shelby this fall.

Advertisement