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November 13, 2015

We have got to get our grubby little hands on that diamond and out of the grubby little hands it's already in.

Most seven year old children are excited for the holidays because it means presents. One seven year old girl has already gotten a pretty sweet deal. Her dad snagged her the world’s most expensive diamond at the hot ticket price of $48.5 million. At this level, this might no longer be considered a present. It perhaps qualifies as a “statement.”

And you know what this means. Now that this seven year old daughter of a Hong Kong billionaire was gifted with the world’s most expensive diamond, everyone’s going to want the world’s most expensive diamond.

Freaked out parents are going to be frantically calling Target and WalMart, seeing if they have the world’s most expensive diamond in stock. Some bratty kid is gonna be bragging to all the kids in their grade that their parent is definitely getting them the world’s most expensive diamond for Christmas and then when they return after break have to admit it’s a knock off, like the 3rd most expensive diamond in the world.

Tough luck, kids who don’t have a billionaire parent. Looks like you’re just going to get regular stuff this year that you’ll actually enjoy playing with and won’t be disowned if you lose or break.