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April 14, 2015
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Get ready to roll your eyes: The queen of pretentiousness is at it again. Gwyneth Paltrow, GOOPstress extraordinaire, is living on $29 this week to raise awareness of the food stamp budget for poor families living on food stamps. Ugh, she should kill herself.

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Get ready to roll your eyes: The queen of pretentiousness is at it again. Gwyneth Paltrow, GOOPstress extraordinaire, is living on $29 this week to raise awareness of the terribly restrictive budget for poor families living on food stamps.

Ugh. I know, right? What a stuck-up piece of shit.

We GET IT, Gwyneth. You’re the prettiest and the healthiest and the smartest and now I guess you’re the best at advocating for poor children to get more to eat.

Little Miss Cares About Kids Sooo Much posted a pic on Facebook of her grocery haul for the SNAP Challenge. “This is what $29 gets you at the grocery store — and this is what families who rely on SNAP (formerly known as food stamps) have to live on for a week. We’re going to walk in their shoes and see how far we get. I’m also donating to Food Bank For New York City:http://bit.ly/1CxSQZc. Please donate, too. I nominate Roy Choi to do the#FoodBankNYCChallenge cc: Mario Batali,” she wrote.

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Let’s look at what this snobby charitable blonde twig bought.

Black beans: Does Gwyneth seriously expect a bag of black beans to last a whole week?! This dumb rich bitch could never make it on food stamps!

Eggs: This is the only other protein she bought for her family! It’s like she’s trying to follow the SNAP Challenge to the letter without compromising her strict vegetarianism or something! I guess she cares about kids AND animals. Hey Gwyneth, pick ONE.

Lettuce: So Gwynnie can’t stop eating vegetables for even a week. Could she be more out of touch?

Cilantro, limes, garlic: That’s a lot of money wasted on seasonings! What are you trying to do, make sure the cheap food you make this week has at least some flavor to it so your kids don’t refuse to eat it because you love them and don’t want them to starve?! Fuck off. Go blog about lotion.

Sweet potato: Um, Gwyneth, one lonely sweet potato isn’t going to be enough to feed a mom and two kids for seven days! What, is that the exact point she’s trying to make to raise awareness of how hard it is to take care of a family in poverty or something? I hate that she’s actually a good actress.

Brown rice: Ugh, remember when she called Billy Joel “William”? I’ll never help poor kids.

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