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May 06, 2017
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Self-help guide on how to break into your boss's office by The W1nners' Club

The dynamics of office politics dictate that at some point in your career, you will have a justifiable reason for breaking into your boss’s office. It may be that you need to alter the amount of annual leave you have left on your boss’s staff planner, or you may need to hand in your expenses late to avoid not being reimbursed next month.

Whatever the reason, the last thing you should do is don a balaclava and start trying to pick the lock like an amateur. A far simpler method is to obtain a duplicate key. Obviously this won’t be handed to you without anybody knowing what you’re up to, so the best thing to do is try and obtain an impression of the key so that you can make a duplicate of it later on……..

- First you’ll need a sandwich box. It needs to be large enough to fit two bars of soap inside it.

- Obtain two bars of soap from the toilets and place them inside the sandwich box.

- Sprinkle talcum powder over the soap to prevent the key sticking to it (talc can be easily obtained from one of your sporty colleagues that goes to the gym a lot).

- Obtain the key by befriending your boss’s P.A. You may need to allocate some time towards this goal by finding excuses to go to her office to engage in idle banter. After a sufficient amount of interaction, you will need to coax the whereabouts of the key from her and then obtain it when the P.A. pops out for lunch.

- Press the key into the soap to make an impression of its shape. You’ll need to make one impression of each side of the key – one side per bar of soap (It would also help if you can make a mental note of the key manufacturer for accuracy of measurement).

- Wipe the key clean of any trapped bits of Imperial Leather, then get across to your local locksmiths. It shouldn’t be too difficult for a decent locksmith to manufacture a key from the impressions you took. The main obstacle you are likely to face is being able to convince the locksmith that you are not using the key for illegal purposes so we have therefore compiled a list of plausible excuses for you to use in the event of being asked any difficult questions:

1. Your flatmate has a drink problem and keeps losing their key on nights out, thus forcing you to wake up at night to let them in.
2. Your dog ate your spare key.
3. You have a drink problem and you keep losing yours on nights out, thus forcing your flatmate to wake up to let you in.
4. Your cat ate your spare key.

In the unlikely event you cannot get access to any soap (??), or a sandwich box, simply take a picture of each side of your boss’s key next to a ruler with your mobile phone and a skilled locksmith should be able to use this as a guide.

For more visit: https://w1nnersclub.com

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