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February 04, 2010


Subject: Six Short Male Stories 

ONE I was  walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind  a tombstone.  I said, "Morning." 

He said, "No, just taking a  shit." 


When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new  bike. Then I realized that God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and  asked Him to forgive me. 


My girlfriend was in labor  with our first child. She was shouting, "Get this out of me!  Give me  the drugs!" She looked at me and yelled, "You did this to me, you  bastard!" I casually replied, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your  ass but you said, 'That would hurt too much'." 


I went to an  extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me  that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and she said, "Because I'm  trying to examine you." 


I was walking down the road  and saw my Afghanistan neighbor Abdul standing on his fifth floor  apartment balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's wrong,  Abdul? Won't it start?" 


My girlfriend and I were  making love when she looked up at me and said, "Make love to me like in  the movies." So I turned her over on all fours, stuck it in her ass,  pulled out, flipped her back over and came all over her face and hair. I  never saw her again after that night. I guess we don't watch the same  movies.