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November 16, 2015

What you are doing is stupid and wonderful.

We’ve got a lot of things on our minds these days. Global terrorism, the upcoming presidential election, a Wiggles reunion. What’s that? Those aren’t your top three most pressing issues? Well that’s fine, we Americans can get a little preoccupied with what’s going on in our country and forget not everyone cares about who will be our president.

But moving onto the issue we can’t stop blabbing about: The Wiggles, a silly Australian rock band for toddlers, are reuniting to hold an 18-years-and-older concert for charity. That’s right, small children, you cannot enjoy the wacky and goofy tunes meant for your toddlin’ ears this time (also, remember to get your parents’ permission to visit this website.) This time, the grown-ass adults get to jam out without anyone judging them. And it is important we salute them.

We’re talking men over six-feet tall swaying to the croons of Murray Cook as he sings fan favorite “Toot Toot, Chuga Chuga, Big Red Car.” Moms sans snotty toddlers will throw back some beers and demand an encore of “Captain Feathersword.” Let’s be clear, yes the proceeds are going to charity, but if that’s what was bringing these adult citizens to a Wiggles concert, they’d just as easily donate to the cause and spend the night out doing … adult stuff.

It’s these brave men and women, who are dearly holding onto their absurdist childhood memories and bringing alcohol into the mix that we must honor. How many of us are still playing with Lincoln Logs? When was the last time you really jammed out to Heads Shoulders Knees and Toes? These adults live life unafraid to be silly, heroic in their embrace of the stupid things they liked as children.

Will this concert be good? Eh, Cheerios aren’t great but babies still love eating them. Should the attendees of this Wiggles concert be celebrated? Of course. Absolutely, of course. They are living their best lives. Out of respect for them, please knock over your kid’s Lego tower and build a cooler one that their undeveloped minds cannot yet comprehend.