Newt is the honey badger.  Watch it campaign.  It’s pretty badass.  Oh, the NewtBadger is just crazy!  The NewtBadger has been referred to as the most arrogant, avaricious, adulterous, hypocritical piece of shit in American politics.  It really doesn't give a shit.  If it wants power, it wants power. 

The NewtBadger is really pretty badass.  It has no regard for any other person whatsoever.  Look at it, it's just grunting, and telling lies. Eew! What's that?  Another wife?  Oh that's nasty.  NewtBadger’s so nasty.  Oh look it's chasing skirts and marrying them. 

The Newtbadger has a fairly fat head, with thickset jowls, like a hyena, and, you know, his morality is loose, allowing him to slither about his lies freely, and he twists around.  Now look: Here's a house full of poor people.  Do you think the NewtBadger cares? It doesn't give a shit, it goes right into the poor house to get some larvae.  How disgusting is that? It eats larvae. Eew, that's so nasty. 

But look! The NewtBadger doesn't care! It's getting stung like a thousand times by Romney.  It doesn't give a shit.  It doesn't care that he can’t win the general election.  Nothing can stop the NewtBadger’s ego. What a crazy fuck!  Look, it's eating larvae, that's disgusting. 

Look! Here comes a fierce battle between a Romney and the NewtBadger. I wonder what will happen?  "Get away from me!" says the Romney, "Get away from me!"  NewtBadger don't care. NewtBadger smacks the shit out of it.  What an egotistical little bastard.  

And of course, what does the NewtBadger devour the next two weeks?  Romney. 

The NewtBadger.