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June 20, 2017
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Leave a note above the toilet that reads, "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown please fish it out and put it in the freezer with the rest of my collection."

Not everyone is so incredibly filthy rich that they can live on their own. Some people have to live with roommates. It doesn’t have to be so bad, but some roommates are just terrible (and that doesn’t make sense because you’re great!) so, if you need one to move out any of these suggestions will have you covered.


Saw off their room from the apartment and push them into the street

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Put a fake mustache on the front door to confuse him into thinking it’s a different apartment

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Turn your apartment into a 24/7 ‘Sleep No More’-like performance open to the general public

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Start dating Martin Shkreli

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Leave a note above the toilet that reads, “If it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown please fish it out and put it in the freezer with the rest of my collection.”

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Tell them you want to start a podcast

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Always hang out in the living room with Rachel Dolezal

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Set an example by moving out first

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Actively take in birds, “‘Cause we’re a sanctuary for birds now!”

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Divorce them

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