ADAM LEVINE: "This is a sad day for music fans everywhere. R.E.M. was a hugely influential band. My dad is gonna be really upset."
CHRIS MARTIN: "I still remember the first time I listened to Reckoning. I was blown away! I was like, 'Dad, what are you listening to?' And he said R.E.M. He's going to be really upset when he finds out."
ADELE: "I have to admit, I don't know R.E.M. that well. But maybe that's because I don't know my dad that well. I'm sure if I had a closer relationship with my dad, then I'd know who R.E.M. is because they're a 'dad' band, right?"
DAVE GROHL: "I've been a huge fan of R.E.M. from the beginning. Fables of the Reconstruction literally showed me how to make a solid indie record without major studio backing. But it's after I became a dad that I realized I was never truly a fan at all because I wasn't a dad yet. It's only after I became a dad when I was like, 'Whoa, now this makes sense.' And my own dad's gonna be upset too."
KATY PERRY: "My deepest condolences to all the dads out there. This is a terrible day for you. And also, the dads of dads. But let's face it: the dads of dads of dads are the ones who really need our support right now."
GAVIN DEGRAW: "Sweet Jesus, don't tell my dad. R.E.M. is the only thing tethering him to reality at this point. We had a scare back in '97 when Bill Berry left the band. My dad just paced around in the backyard for days, occasionally stopping to chew on some bark or lick the side of the house for salt. We had him institutionalized after we found him under the porch trying to move in on a possum brood. He wanted the mother possum to re-raise him as a possum because he didn't know who he was anymore. You see, R.E.M.'s existence was so intractably linked to his 'dad-ness.'"
LADY GAGA: "What? My dad's dead? Wait, let me take these Teflon moose-face earmuffs off my head. Say that again. What?! My dad's dead?!" (Editor's Note: We decided to give Gaga this news first. The news about R.E.M. was met with silence.)
TONY BENNETT: "R.E.M. broke up? Who gives a fuck? What do I look like? My dad?"