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November 14, 2014
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In our Daily Brief, we bring you the stories that even idiots are talking about today.

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Who Really Broke the Internet?
According to the Wall Street Journal, hashtags related to the comet landing were more popular than those related to Kim Kardashian’s cover photo. However, what they fail to take into consideration is that the hashtag #cometlanding is actually a well-known sex act performed on Kim Kardashian’s butt.


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Le Tigre
There is a tiger on the loose in a town just outside of Paris. So if you’re visiting Paris and you spot a large smelly animal with contempt for human life, ask it if it’s seen a tiger.


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#Rokerthon
Al Roker set the Guinness World Record for the longest, uninterrupted live weather report after broadcasting for 34 hours straight. An impressive feat, but still nothing compared to the record for longest uninterrupted weather, which is 4.54 billion years.


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Beware the Extreme Neutrality of Sweden!
Sweden confirmed that a foreign sub entered their waters three weeks ago. It is widely speculated to be Russian, but Sweden would not rule out the possibility of a plucky Jamaican submarine.


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Dat Shade
The new Fifty Shades of Grey trailer premiered on network television last night and it created quite a stir. Audiences who were watching a new episode of So You Think You Can Cram A Lot Of Stuff In Your Anus? were reportedly outraged by the racy trailer.


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