Ever sat around your home one day, and all of a sudden somebody’s doing something absolutely ridiculous? Doing such a thing for the sole purpose of completing a “challenge” that everybody’s doing for no particular reason whatsoever? Well you can thank us for that! We’re the social media challenge committee, the people “challenging” you to hurt/embarrass yourself in a variety of colorful ways.
Last year’s challenges were really great, I think my favorite was when we fooled you guys into duping buckets of ice on yourselves for a disease we totally made up. Anyways, we’re very excited to doll out the challenges for our 2015 – 2016 season, we hope you enjoy completing these purposeless challenges as much as we enjoy watching you put your bodies in complete and utter distress.
Without any further to do, here are your challenges! LET THE GAMES BEGIN:
JUNE 2015: X-Men Challenge
For the X men challenge, you will have to watch all of the Xmen movies in one week. Once that’s done you’ll have to find a x-men costume,put it on, and then submerge yourself in a tank of radioactive waste. The challenge will be completed once your DNA has changed and you get super powers.And trust us, you’ll get super powers (wink).
JULY 2015: Patriot challenge
The 4th of July is a wonderful celebration of America. In honor of it, we challenge you to do the patriot challenge! For the patriot challenge, you’ll have to do 7 shots of vodka while wearing a president mask and top hat. Once that’s done, strip yourself down to nothing but an American flag thong, and then run through your neighborhood singing the star spangled banner. Challenge will not be completed until you are arrested.
AUGUST 2015: Jimmy Degrassi Challenge
Steal a bunch of wheelchairs and then call everyone you know.Figure out where Drake is going to be performing next, and then get all of your friends to come to his concert in wheelchairs. When everyone’s outside the concert, chant “we want Jimmy back!” over and over again until Drake stops his concert and comes outside. Challenge will be completed when you and at least 4of your friends have sustained injuries from his bodyguard.
SEPTEMBER 2015: Stock Market Crash challenge
Become an active political figure in your respective town. Then do whatever you can to trigger a small-scale collapse of your town’s economy.Then, on live television, let everyone know that you’re the person who caused this awful tragedy to come over your town. Change your identity and then move to a small town in the middle of Michigan. Challenge will be completed when everyone in the town you ruined bounces back.
October 2015: Frankenstein challenge
Find a mad scientist and tell him/her that you’ve decided to donate your body to science. Instruct him to remove your brain and have it placed into another body composed of different dead body parts. Live inside this body until Halloween, and then change back. If anyone asks if you’re doing okay, simply tell them “AGHHH, FIRE! FIRRRRRE!!!! FIIIIRRRRREEEEE!!!” and runaway. The challenge will be completed when your brain is put back into your original body, and everyone you know is convinced you’re not severely brain damaged (which you probably will be).
__NOVEMBER 2015: Graffiti Challenge __
Either build a time machine OR manipulate the laws of physics so that you can travel back in time. Travel back to the year 2012 and spray paint the name of your high school rival onto multiple important buildings(churches, government buildings, shelters etc.). Leave a caption indicating that your rival is definitely the one who did this. Travel back to the present,and see if your rival is doing jail time. Challenge will be completed if your rival is doing jail time or has been shamed.
DECEMBER 2015: Santa Challenge
Wear a Santa costume and break into somebody’s house on Christmas night. Replace all their Christmas gifts with pictures of you playing with their original Christmas gifts. Leave these photos under their Christmas tree, and then just rob them. Take whatever you can, furniture, family photos,Televisions, literally anything you can. Challenge will be completed when you turn yourself in and try to convince the police that this was fucking hilarious.
JANUARY 2016: New Year New Me Challenge
Fake your own death. You’ll then have to disguise yourself and show up to your own funeral. Give a heartfelt speech at your funeral,reminiscing on the good times that you had with yourself. Once you feel like you’ve gotten a good hold on everyone’s heartstrings, say “I’m truly going to miss (insert your name here). Why? Well because I’m (insert your name here)!New year new me!” take off your disguise and record everyone losing their fucking minds. Challenge will be completed when your family disowns you.