My life seems to throw a lot of fast balls at me, mostly caused by my own disorganized life style. Man oh man, my mind is like a big pot of gumbo, all sorts or shit floating around without knowing exactly what it is. the big chunks in the pot are usually late fees i havent paid or some type of negative news, those are harder to chew. I always find my self in some sort of pickle, ha, i never use that phrase, soo white, but whatever. I was driving around today and thought, mmh, haven't heard anything from my insurance company, let me givem a ring, turns out that my insurance was inactive, it had been like that for about 2 months. speaking of 2 months, I had lost my license 2 months ago and didn't bother to get a replacement till last week. It made me think, knowing how shitty my luck is, THANK GOD i didn't get pulled over, i didn't have insurance or a fucking license. That would have been shiiiiiiiity!! How would i explain that, well the license part woulda been ok, i coulda just said, oh yea officer weinheimer(real cop I met in canada, whata dick), sorry but i actually lost my license yesterday but i'm in the process of getting a new one. And that woulda been cool. but then, the insurance part woulda been a little tricky, uh sorry officer weinheimer but my insurance got canceled because of my own idiocy, ya see, i forgot to renew it so they canceled it, and here i am, no license or insurance, you think you could let me off with a warning this time. The fuck out. That was that, then I went to a club last night, bought a few drinks too many, had to carry around my passport cus my license hasn't come, almost lost my atm card, luckily i was sober enough to find it, i was supposed to go to six flags today but luckily i was too drunk to get up, and later I decided to check my account just to see what was up, turned out that I only had 80 bucks in it. Now to some, 80 isn't bad, but when you're used to having thousands of dollars in your account(thanks to financial aid) its a little unsettling. It'd be like kobe bryant waking up in an apartment in compton. Luckily my roommates owed me rent so i immediately made a deposit. This got me thinking about my future, being an entertainer, I will be faced with these types of situations, i may be broke. That was my first taste of being broke, but i still had the safety net of school and government funds. Something i wont have in the future. I hadn't felt the lack of money, since I was in highschool. When your at home, you live according to your families means, which in my case was quite humble or a little less. I was still able to get cool things here and there but college really allows you to live the lifestyle YOU want to live. You explore more, you buy the things YOU want because they are you, and no one else has a say. But with freedom comes responsibilities, like making sure you pay your bills, you have food in the fridge, making sure your account is in check, not getting pressured by friends to go out and spend ridiculous amounts of money on drinks and club ho's(you know who you are), and not throwing money around like its monopoly. My problem is that i'm a spender, I like to spend the money i have, financial aid is dangerous in my hands. If i could, i'd buy a house with my grant money, people'd be like, dam yuvi, where'd you get this house, i'd be like, financial aid homie. Thats right, usin my aid to put a roof over my head, literally. But i gotta learn to be a little wiser, maybe i'll start hangin out with jews, or middle aged indian guys. Sometimes i think, it doesn't suit me to be frugal or poor, I have to be rich. I can see myself in the future driving nice cars, wearing nice clothes, I can't picture myself in a honda accord the rest of my life, I can see myself driving a nice black porche carerra, with black interior, with a bangin sound system and some good music. uh that sounds good. But, you never know what awaits you. That goes for the women in my life, or the lack there of. Sometimes I think its a curse to have an "interesting" personality, because the more character you have, the more complicated you become. People get intimidated by strong personalities, me being one. In a way, people are afraid to talk to me, I can sense it. Now, i'm not dwelling on it, just think that people have grown too comfortable with dealing with unoriginal, mundane personalities. Thats why i know that when i meet MY girl, she's gonna be crazy special. there will be no one else like her, and she probably wont date many guys because it takes a special someone to be able to handle her. You see, the more a guy or a girl dates, just means that he or she is able to mix with many people, which in return means that they lack character. average people mingle with other average people, and the select few who are different have a tighter circle, because there are less of us. I really appreciate the friends I have because I know they are truly special people, they are interesting individuals who offer something special to the world. I went off on a lot of random tangents but thats the way life is, it hits you with a lot of ups, downs, curves on so forth. While trying to encourage me, my dad told me, " Yuvi, life is like a life line, the more ups and downs you have the better, because once the line goes flat, its all bad news". that was one of the best examples my dad or anyone has given me because it changed my perception of life. Even with the weather channel, you never know tomorrows forecast, could be sunny, or could be cloudy as hell. bust out the shorts, but bring an umbrella in case.