Full Credits

Stats & Data

134Funny
12Die
1,453
Views
January 09, 2018
Published
Description

A comprehensive list of what could have been.

  • Bryce Canyon National Park: America’s only canyon named after a frat boy.
  • Yellowstone National Park: Geysers more faithful than a Hallmark movie marriage.
  • Yosemite National Park: America’s eye candy.
  • Grand Canyon National Park: America’s vagina.
  • Great Smoky Mountains National Park: Where 26 year old guys ‘find themselves’.
  • Redwood National Park: Do you like shade?
  • Death Valley National Park: Do you hate water?
  • Saguaro National Park: Do you like acupuncture?
  • Badlands National Park: Cool step brother of Goodlands National Park.
  • Grand Teton National Park: It means tits in French.
  • Mount Rainier National Park: Less rain than you might expect.
  • Mesa Verde National Park: First National Park to be deported by a President.
  • Everglades National Park: Full disclosure, it’s in Florida.
  • Banff National Park: More like BAMF amiright?
  • Rocky Mountain National Park: Do you like John Denver?
  • Denali National Park: Do you not like Christopher McCandless?
  • American Samoa National Park: Like Girl Scout cookies? Do we have a park for you.
  • Crater Lake National Park: Maybe how the dinosaurs died.
  • Cuyahoga National Park: You didn’t know Ohio had one of these.
  • Gates of the Arctic National Park: Colder than that bitch Jenny.
  • Glacier National Park: You have about 6 years until this whole thing melts.
  • Mammoth Cave National Park: 0% Mammoths 100% Caves
  • Big Bend National Park: Like Beckham.
  • Virgin Islands National Park: Way older than 40.
  • Carlsbad Caverns National Park: Carl just honestly sucked at making caverns.
Advertisement