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Published January 28, 2009 More Info »
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Published January 28, 2009
Hey buddy, how are you doing?

Look you've probably been wondering where we've all been for the last couple of weeks.  Don't worry about us, we're doing great; really.  We wanted to write you this letter to explain a few things.

First off,  we are not happy with the way things ended up, however, Bush finally got to be too much and bailing seemed like the best option.  I mean honestly, someone much better was waiting to take over and you expected us to stick around?

Secondly, what did you do to the stock market?  Everything was fine when we started off and now we're fucked!  You told us you were bad with money but this, really?  Needless to say, you owe us money and we will be stopping by your place soon to pick up that check along with our Katey Perry CD.

Next, please take back "The Love Guru".  What did we do to deserve that?  Couldn't you have given us a STD like everyone else?

Lastly,  China is starting to scare us, what did you get us into.  It's nice to have all this extra money but it all feels like some kind of "Indecent Proposal" thing.  Seems to us that someone must be getting "fucked" in this whole deal.

That's all we wanted to say.  Hope you are doing well and please have that check ready.  China's starting to give us some strange looks.

Love,
America
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