Today’s release of The Social Network officially marks my total, helpless submission to Facebook. I’ve recognized for some time now that I have been encumbered with status updates, “likes”, events, photo albums, and everything else put at my blistering fingertips by The Book. (Like some sort of holy e-text, I often refer to the all-knowing website as The Book. Yes, that should have been a warning sign.) But now I see that it has a far greater hold on me than I knew.
Previously my addiction was limited to the confines of my laptop. That’s where The Book lived and cast it’s radiance onto my deteriorating eyes. Unfortunately, it has escaped and made it to theaters in the form of The Book: The Movie. This means that I will actually be going out to enjoy Facebook. Tonight in the theater I will update Facebook my status to read “Seeing Facebook” and then I’ll look up and see Facebook.
It won’t end with The Social Network, either. Soon, I’ll be looking for the next media incarnation of The Book. When will I be able to listen to Facebook? I want to turn on the radio hear about an event that six of my friends are attending, but I didn’t receive an invite to. When will The Book: The Musical be hitting Broadway? I want to see my Wall as set design and links to the Huffington Post composed into sign-of-the-times ballads. When will I be inside Facebook? I want experience Farmville and relationship status changes in physical, tangible form—a living, breathing Facebook where all my notifications come to life!
I’m getting ahead of myself. I just need to calm down, finish up this blog, and promote it on Facebook. Phew. There, back to reality.
My name is t.j. and I hope you “share” my dedication to The Book.