Full Credits

Stats & Data

0Funny
0Die
106
Views
December 03, 2008
Published
Description

-

Now that youve met little Pumba, we can begin to break down the specifics of my induced insanity. First of all, the little mutt has many other names, such as: Mr. Poo, The Poo Man, Princess Pumba, Boo Boo, Pumbs, Pumba-licious and Pumba Doomba! This smart little crossbred canine answers to each and every one of them.

Ya, hes smart!

However, being a cross between a Cocker Spaniel and a Poodle, there is no doubt that our little munchkin has some bipolar characteristics. Most of the literature suggests that you never really know what the result of these combined characteristics might be. Here are some possibilities.

Lively, friendly, fiercely loyal, require exercise, working dog, intelligent, busy, almost hyperactive, great watchdog,

Poodle:

Eager to please, people-orientated, good watchdog, agile and athletic, training difficult, temperament –intelligent but can be NEUROTIC, can be spoilt and demanding, nervous, unpredictable around strangers, ability to learn many words.

Mix it up and put it all together and you get Cockapoo stew; a real combination of the good and the bad and the ugly. Let me give you some examples of Mr. Poos behaviors and then Ill let you be the judge of the genetics involved.

Example One:

Pumba can be the sweetest loving dog on this great planet, but he can also become a psychotic guard dog on steroids.

Dont let the little feller get angry with you or you will pay dearly. If I scold him too severely, I had better be sure the bedroom door is closed, or hell sneak in there and pee on my pillow.

Take that you human dominatrix. SMELL MY URINE!

And, if you really piss him off, he may wait a few hours, but youll be sure to find a load of a different variety somewhere on the paths you walk in this house. These strategic surprises are hard to avoid in the dark of night, and cleaning between your toes? Well, Ill leave that up to your imagination. Odoriferous Land Minds, we call them.

We need to post a sign when guests stay over with us: Go gently into that Good Night!

If we leave him home along for any length of time, the little terrorist, plants his land mines everywhere! The one he leaves at the doorstep acts as his early warning system, no doubt.

Example Two:

Pumba either likes you, or he doesnt. There is no gray area with this dog.

In fact, many visitors to this house get positive strokes and loving licks. One example is our friend, Paul. This six foot five giant can sit on the couch with Mr. Poo perched on his head licking his hair with gusto. Other visitors get Pumbas cat impression. Thats when he jumps up on your lap, falls asleep and purrs like a kitten. When our three little nieces visit they can pick him up, drag him around, carry him about, and practically dress him in costumes and there is no fuss. No wonder they gave him the name, Princess Pumba!

But if you are on the dogs shit list – watch out! This neurotic little pit bull will come at you in full commando mode. You see, Pumba Doomba takes no prisoners.

There are several people who come to the house that Pumba has designated as persona non grata. When he sees them, all that hes thinking is ,LUNCH HAS ARRIVED.

Hell bark and growl, run about like a mad-dog, and carry on in his psychotic dance until one of us has to restrain him.

Let me go. I want a piece of that human. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Dont make me mad or youll know the consequences. Grrrrrrr!

Lose-lose, well you betchya.

If he gets loose, he jumps up with agility, and tries to nip at the intruders exposed fingers. Im sure these visitors consider our dog in the furry piranha category. In order to avoid the feeding frenzy, our teenage sons friends walk around the house, with their coats on and their hands up their sleeves. No problem, Pumpa just follows them around like a Mexican jumping bean on crack!

It doesnt matter if these visitors escape to another room and close the door. No, Mr. Poo takes this as an affront to his guard dog sensibilities. If Pumba cant go for your flesh, hell regroup and go for your shoes. Yes, hell raise that leg proudly and high, then hell spray essence of dog all over them.

You want a piece of me? Well, dude, now youre taking a piece of me home! Grrrrrrrrr!

What a great surprise when, upon leaving, you slip your shoes on. Thankfully weve broken him of the habit of chewing that shoe into tiny bits.

So, I think you get the picture and now its your turn to complete the analysis. What is the characteristic mix in this loveable dog? If you figure it out, send me a note and Ill send you a Pumba Surprise.

Just kidding! Later in the month, Ill attempt to provide more evidence.  Maybe together well be able to figure this mutt out!


Jimbobalouie

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisement
Advertisement