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April 21, 2017
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Area residents this week flooded the local police station with anxious calls concerning cheerful, happy-looking drones in their neighborhood looking through their windows

Area residents this week flooded the local police station with anxious calls concerning cheerful, happy-looking drones in their neighborhood looking through their windows.

Reports of the drones in the area began Monday and continued unabated throughout the week as the chipper flying machines continuously approached the windows of residents and scanned the interior with their cameras, recording whatever people were doing inside their homes.

“It definitely gave me a scare,” said Charlotte Grumrey. “I was putting on some makeup in my bedroom and all of the sudden in the mirror I saw this cute little drone outside my window with a blinking red light. I let out a scream because it surprised me, but after calling the police station I realized I had nothing to be concerned about.”

“Yeah, we’ve been getting a lot of calls about these funny little drones,” said Sergeant Rich Mondelfo at the local precinct. “We let folks know there was nothing to be concerned about, and that the drones were just working on a government survey.”

“That was a relief,” said Leroy Smith who was stepping out of the shower when he saw a brightly colored drone outside his bathroom window. “It looked harmless, but you never know who’s operating them, so I called the station and they said not to worry. So, I just went about my business,” he said. “They’re actually kind of fun once you get used to them.”

Lots Of Information

Although no one knows exactly what the government survey is for, the good-natured surveillance gadgets are certainly gathering a lot of information.

“I had them pretty much following me everywhere I went,” said Julio Guerrero. “The grocery store. My daughter’s soccer practice. Thanksgiving dinner at my mom’s. It got to be really stressful. So much so that I finally had to quit my job as a reporter at the local newspaper,” he said. “Funny thing is, I haven’t seen them since.”

Requests for more information were referred by the police department to Homeland Security, which referred the requests to the White House, which referred the requests to Breitbart News.

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