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May 21, 2015

Nothing is worse then sending an angry email you regret later. That is, nothing except getting the email tattooed to your face.

I’m usually a rational, even-tempered guy. I try to think things through and not act on impulse. But last week my emotions got the best of me when I sent an angry, rambling email to my coworkers. It was disrespectful, mean-spirited, and unprofessional. I was frustrated and I said some things I now wish I could take back. But I can’t. Especially because I got the email tattooed on my face later that same day.

It seemed like a good idea at the time. Boy was I wrong.

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I’m regretting this tattoo pret-ty hard right now.

Sometimes it’s tough to get perspective when you’re upset, you know? Pressing “send” on an angry email always feels good in the moment, consequences be damned. We’ve all been there. So can’t you kind of see how sprinting to a tattoo parlor in a blind rage and demanding they further immortalize your incoherent, typo-ridden diatribe with a face tattoo might seem like the right move? I mean, put yourself in my shoes. I was riding that sweet self-righteous post-email high and I craved more.

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Thought this tattoo made a lot of sense at the time.

The funny thing is that the tattoo artist refused at first. I had an easy out! But my mind was made up and I wasn’t listening to reason. I ultimately got him to tattoo me by offering 10 times his asking price. And that was only after I grabbed the needle and threatened to do it myself. Boy was I angry!

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I could have had the tattoo guy put it anywhere. My arm, my leg, my chest. But nope! Stubborn old me wouldn’t settle for anything less than front and center.

While I’m apologizing, I also feel pretty bad about the “TATTOO ARTISTS ARE, WITHOUT EXCEPTION, COWARDS AND PEDOPHILES” tattoo I made him put on my lower back. I had to threaten his family to get him to do that one. Tempers were high and I was feeling especially vindictive. It was the wrong call and I see that now.

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Another tattoo I wish I could take back.

Anyway, I hope everyone in the office can find it in their hearts to forgive me. I sent that email and got this face tattoo when I was upset, sleep-deprived, and not thinking straight. Hindsight’s 20/20, I guess.

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The worst part is I didn’t even check for typos.

Eh, what are you gonna do? We all make mistakes.