or
1 Funny Votes
4 Die Votes
405 Views
Published August 12, 2011

Its happened to all of us, we've been on a nice date but something always happens that just ruins every ones time. Weather Its spilling a drink or getting said date crushed by a falling piano (not your fault obviously), here are some things i hope can save your next romantic venture, save your sex life, but most importantly save your reputation.

 

!TIPS!









1. Don't Talk About How Sexy Their Grandmother Is




Your dates grandmother will more than likely be dead. Excessively talking about how sexy they are will give your date the idea that you love molesting corpses A.K.A Necrophilia. This is surprisingly a turn off for most people. by doing this you have a 92% chance of taking out the possibility of a second date and a 0.1% chance of puttin a ring on it


2. Do Not Challenge The Waiter To A Cage Fight



A restaurant is no place for displays of dominance among your fellow homosapiens. unless your on a date set up by a website ( and said date is into impromptu UFC fighting and probably a man) or dining at the local Olive Garden, don't look for a brawl. The waiter isn't prepared and neither is your pride.



3. Do Not Steal Your Dates Car





Getting a ride from your date is bad for your reputation. Stealing the ride you get is great for street cred and building a reputation as the town fuck over. But if you want that second date let your partner for the next. . . 15 minutes keep their mini van.



4. Testing Poison On Your Date Is Not OK



Honestly this is a common mistake. When your on a date and really feel the need to test out those skills you learned in that chemistry class you failed, DON'T! Testing cyanide, anti-freeze, date rape drugs (generic and off the counter), and gasoline (or really anything else you could clean your house and destroy criminal evidence with on your) is a unfortunate no no. unless your Russian, then its probably ok.



5. Do Not Steal A Baby And Bring It To Your Date As A Gift




Baby's aren't sexy, they will not help you in anyway. Bringing your date a baby, much like a cat bringing a dead bird head to you as a threat, will scare the shit out him/him (its probably a guy, just double check to make sure, if your homosexual then this is not a problem good for you). If you want to attempt to turn your date into stone then by all means bring the baby, If not then leave that baby by the dumpster and enjoy the rest of your evening.



@DavidAyalasOk

 

Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web