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February 20, 2015
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Emma Watson is now a movie star feminist Ivy League sorceress who is dating a handsome prince. She probably also has a pony.

Let’s enjoy this quickly, because it’s amazing and likely not true: According to Women’s Day Australia, Prince Harry is currently wooing Emma Watson, best known as Hermione from the Harry Potter films.

If this is true (which again, probably not), Watson is now a movie star feminist Ivy League sorceress who is dating a handsome prince. She’s not just living the dream; she’s living eight or ten dreams. If her life continues on its current trajectory, Emma Watson’s awesomeness will increase exponentially.

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The projected future of Emma Watson

  • 2016: Signs on to star as James Bond
  • 2018: Reveals her magic powers in Harry Potter movies were not special effects, she’s just really magic
  • 2019: Marries Harry, who has given up his bad boy ways for her, buckled down, and is now an architect
  • 2020: Is briefly a mermaid
  • 2021: Enjoys liaisons with both Hemsworth brothers (she and Harry have an open marriage, only for her)
  • 2022: Emma and Harry welcome twins, carried to term by Harry (Emma is also a scientist)
  • 2023: Wins extensive Oscars for her James Bond films
  • 2024: She and Kate Middleton have just the best girls’ weekend
  • 2028: Queen dies, Charles and William abdicate, Emma becomes queen for real, none of this Constitutional monarchy nonsense
  • 2034: Entire world voluntarily joins Queen Emma’s empire, world peace reigns, mean tweets banished forever
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