Livetweeting of a Dildo Emergency

Twitter user @grawly (A.K.A televised snowmang) accidentally lodged a vibrating dildo in his ass; upon realizing this, he tweeted:

Yo guess who has to go to the hospital because he shoved a dildo up his ass and can't get it out (answer: it's me)

— televised snowmang (@Grawly) March 8, 2013

Here is a poetic selection of his live tweets following the incident. The soundtrack, if you'd like a more sensory experience (please don't tell us how sensory it gets) would be this:

Just imagine a faint buzzing sound while you read these tweets. That's me rn

— televised snowmang (@Grawly) March 8, 2013

Aaand on we go:

I looked the woman at the ER desk dead in the eye and said "there is no other way to put this. I have a vibrating dildo inside my ass"

— televised snowmang (@Grawly) March 8, 2013

OH MY GOD. THE NURSE. THE NURSE JUST TOLD ME THERE IS ANOTHER PATIENT HERE RIGHT NOW WHO ALSO SHOVED A DILDO UP THEIR ASS

— televised snowmang (@Grawly) March 8, 2013

I think there's some kind of poetry here twitter.com/Grawly/status/…

— televised snowmang (@Grawly) March 8, 2013

OH. MY GOD. I DIDN'T GET AN X-RAY PHOTO. I GOT AN X-RAY DISC. FULL QUALITY X-RAY PICTURES. WILL UPLOAD WHEN I GET HOME

— televised snowmang (@Grawly) March 8, 2013

Oh and also about four people tried to listen to my chest with a stethoscope. “Wait what’s that sound?” “I-it’s still on.”

— televised snowmang (@Grawly) March 8, 2013

heres an xray of a dildo shoved up my big gay ass i.imgur.com/9whZ8Mu.jpg

— televised snowmang (@Grawly) March 8, 2013

 

And yes it's still vibrating

— televised snowmang (@Grawly) March 8, 2013

Don't worry. The dildo has since stopped vibrating. If you're skeptical:

disc of the x-ray with some proof its mine, a couple people thought i was faking this twitter.com/Grawly/status/…

— televised snowmang (@Grawly) March 8, 2013

If you need more detail, he has that too:

@ptcruiserusa @connorspace blue

— televised snowmang (@Grawly) March 8, 2013

And if you'd like to hold a corporation responsible for this gift/atrocity/incredibly unsolicited honesty:

. @energizer fuck you for making your batteries last so long in dildos

— televised snowmang (@Grawly) March 8, 2013

But if there is one thing businesses and aspiring entrepreneurs can learn from @grawly, it is this:

Life Lesson: When using a vibrating dildo, attach a string to the end

— televised snowmang (@Grawly) March 8, 2013

Words to live/go to the hospital by.

HT Daily Dot