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December 08, 2009
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So...I get an e-mail this morning that states that the "clock is ticking" on my 24 hour option to buy books at cheap prices and the first thing I think is "Fuck Off." 
I don't know if those ads work, why anyone would think they would work, why anyone would RUN to Chapters based on this, as far as I'm concerned  THREAT  of missing on out on deals for things I didn't ask for.  I don't know about anyone else, but I find anything with a timer on it in terms of advertising to be an ultimatum.  I don't DO ultimatums.  You give me an "or else" and I'll take the "or else" because I have managed to enjoy life for the last 30 some odd years WITHOUT a second "Shamwow"  "absolutely FREE" and I can negotiate getting my arms free from a blanket WITHOUT having arms sewn into it (that invention, the "Cushie", has been around for a LOOOONG time now, it's called a "sweater"), and I also already have seldom used cheese graters, veggie choppers, tupperware given as gifts that I don't use. 
All I'm doing is trying to get my Leland Chapman fix (I wait the entire show for them to zoom in on him and let him say the most obvious thing, and then he goes back to just looking hot and NOT speaking), and I don't need to be assaulted by "call in the next ten seconds because we know if you have time to think about it, you'll realize that it's stupid and you've just given your credit card number to criminals"....
I'm thinking that it MUST work or else WHY would they continue to run the game like that?  Are there really and TRULY people out there who believe that these companies limit their quantities (especially when they'll give you FOUR for the price of ONE if you JUST CALL IN THE NEXT 18 SECONDS!!), or are running a legitimate business if that's what they put on the table in front of you?  If their survival relies on you handing over your credit card number before you've thought about it because GOD FORBID you don't get your second "thing-a-ma-bob-whack-a-doo" for FREE! ?
I second my first thought of the day and send this as a Richard Gere "energy message" to all the over aggressive sales people of the world:  Fuck Off :)  And, if you call anytime in the next 100 years, I'll tell you to "Fuck Off" again for FREE!

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