Full Credits

Stats & Data

0Funny
0Die
725
Views
August 22, 2008
Published
Description

-

So I just got back from the grocery store, and while I was waiting around I glanced at a tabloid magazine. Two stories caught my eye...

One was the featured story. About John Edwards' illegitimate lovechild with a campaign worker, Rielle Hunter. The first thing that went through my mind was an interview I saw with her sister named, hilariously enough, Pigeon. In the interview, she said how much the baby looked like Edwards.

This might be a talent that women have, because I didn't see any resemblance. To me the baby, hell, all babies, look like Kuato from Total Recall.

 

For those who haven't seen it, Kuato is kinda like a Siamese twin attached to the chest of his brother. He also has psychic powers. Here's a picture...

Kuato from Total Recall

 

Now I don't have any pictures of the Hunter/Edwards lovechild, but I do have a visual approximation...

Uncanny, isn't it?

 

Another story is about a supposed rivalry brewing between coutry American Idol winner Carrie Underwood and former relevant pop singer Jessica Simpson over Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo.

Now if I were Romo in this situation first thing I would do, is demand a trade. The only people I hate more than George Bush and his cronies are the god-damn Dallas Cowboys (Go Niners!).

Second, I would sit them both down and say that they are both equally hot and both equally mediocre singers. Then again, I have no clue what to do in that situation. I've never had two women fight over me. I don't think I've even had more than one woman show a slight bit of interest in me. The only fight over me I think I had has been between my right and my left hands .

Advertisement