In a move that challenges even the most liberal definition of the word "wild", the Wild Wednesdays Program is sponsoring the release of benevolent, fluttering bugs by kids.
"We're really excited about this" lied program coordinator Debra Flemmings, "Forty angels totally devoid of spontaneity unleashing nature's most docile creatures into the safest environment possible? Anything could happen!"
Director James Shanway shared his own disingenuous enthusiasm. "We're advising anyone who might be afraid of harmless daytime activities to stay home. Remember, once set free there's no telling where these benign insects will flitter and frolic."
At the time this article was written, at least three local residents have expressed interest in observing today's event. Drew Scanton, who speculates that the moment will generate a rainbow that can be seen around the world, Max Freshner, who may actually have a good time, and Pete Nelson, who will be waiting for what he refers to as "the right moment" to release a large flock of blackbirds he has been nursing back to health.