Full Credits

Stats & Data

March 20, 2009


If you saw this bloke on the street, would you ask him for directions, or maybe the time?

I'm going to guess no.

This is what I deal with everyday here in the North West of England where I live. Which is a usual residing area for the Great British Chav.

But if you think he looks bad..........

Scary huh? And you know what? The women are even worse!

If you are a regular female (non chav specific), then beware of the female chav. If you even make slight eye contact with a chav female, they will take it up with you.


You've just shopped till you're about to drop in the lovely city of Manchester. It's a bright sunny day and you take a bench near a small park to rest for a few moments, maybe have a nice cool drink of water. Nearby this bench are several chavs. They can be found roaming in parks and streets mostly, normally they are in packs and most of them have pushchairs, seldom do you see a chav roaming the streets (or a park) alone.

You take in your surroundings and your eyes suddenly, albeit briefly, meet with female chav and as you continue to take in your surroundings. Your bliss is suddenly broken with a screaming girl in your face.

"What the FUCK are you looking at? You say something to me??" Chav girl screams

"Um, no, no nothing, I was......" you stammer

"What the fuckin' hell are you staring at then??" Chav girl continues

Now, at this point I must stress how important it is not to get smart with the Chav girl. For one, your wit will be lost on her and two, if she senses that your getting clever, she'll knock seven bells of shit out of you.

So, don't say something like,

"I'm not sure, it doesn't have a label on it"

The best line is this one.

"I assure you, I wasn't staring at you at all. I was just admiring the beauty of this area of Manchester, one of the nicest multi cultural cities in the North West."

Cultural reference should send em packing. After all, they have no idea!
But no fear, she won't leave the battle she wanted with you without having the last line, which normally goes something like this.

"Yeeeah, well, don't stare at me right!"

So, visit the North West of the UK and enjoy the beautiful cultural Manchester and come Chav spotting!