To: FOD PHRIENDS
Sent: Thursday, September Eighteenth,2008
Subject: phuneral announcement
With deep and prophound sadness I wish to inphorm you of the passing of our phriend and beloved pet, Phill the Virtual Phish. Phill succumbed Monday Night, September Phiphteent , 2008, of an unknown phish disease, which struck without warning. Phill died a horrible death twitching at the top of his tank, in more than obvious pain and distress. As he writhed there phloating upside down his body began to swell and his stomach distended until Phill phinally, and I must say mercifully, met his surmise as torrents of black sticky blood erupted from his gills and anus. He will be missed.
Phill is survived by phour phish phrom his tank, three phemales, Phlora, Phauna, and his personal favorite, Phiphi. Phred is now the only surviving male and seems in a distastephul way, very pleased with himselph.
It would please Phill and I iph you could attend the Phinal Phlush Ceremony, phollowed by an inphormal reception at the home of Phukuhp in New Smyrna Beach, Phlorida, This coming Saturday night with the phlushing to commence at 4:00 P.M., Phollowed by the reception. RSVPH is appreciated but not expected.
However, iph you cant attend, an honorarium is being set up in Phills name with the PHEED THE PHISH PHOUNDATION, INC. With Dave being the administrator. Please send your generous donations to Dave, and he will make sure that it will be listed in your name (this is a tax deductible donation) and a certiphicate, suitable for phraming, will be mailed to you by the Phoundation as soon as your check clears. Please keep in mind that our goal is $3,000,000.00. so please give till it hurts. As bad as Phill hurt at his bloody horrible painphully drawn out death. Ask your neighbors to donate also, they may be moved by Phills sorrowphul plight. Take it to work, and to the bar. Set cans out at the local convenient stores, gas stations and restraunts, anywhere we can raise a buck. Aphter all Phill was worth it. DAMNED RIGHT HE WAS...