Hey how are you? I can’t believe the Donald was elected the President, can you? Sucks.

I feel bad but better now that I’m talking to you. Wink.

But seriously though just kidding because I can believe it. I have been saying it all along, ask anyone, I said it so long ago, that he was going to be President. And now he is! I won fifty bucks on election night playing online poker.

Do you know why he got elected though? It’s because Hillary is just as bad…like who has that many emails and just deletes them? Did she even READ those emails? I read all the messages I’m sent out of common courtesy, right? Hey btw do I have your email?

Hey are you still there? Listen I didn’t mean it when I said Hillary was just as bad. Like she’s okay. I guess I wanted her to win because she’d be better than Donald. I guess she was a more qualified candidate because she’d run for President before so she knew what she was doing. It’s why she said and did less racist things during her campaign.

I can’t even believe how racist Donald Trumpski is, can you? He said climate change was invented by the Chinese? Such a dick move considering my last girlfriend was Asian. And he wants to take away Obama’s health care just because he’s black? What the fuck? Not cool. And he wants to deport all Muslims? Makes me pretty mad considering my last girlfriend was Asian. Racism is pretty gay.

This is a bit of a hot take haha but I liked Bernie better than Hillary. I think if he had been running for President he might have won and also if more people wanted him to win he could have been elected. I actually was going to vote for Bernie in the primaries but I had a squash tourney that day. I was cheesed when he dropped out but I guess he was busy. Do you follow his Twitter?

Hey you wanna chime in? No? Shy? Haha, I guess I’m just real into politics because I love America. I can’t believe she’s only two hundred and forty haha. I’m even holding one of those America cans in my pic.
What about you how do you feel about America? Are you on the right or the left? Politically. But also in your pic?

You wanna know something fucked up I just learned about Wednesday morning?

Hey do you?

Okay well it doesn’t even matter who you vote for because the electrical college decides.

Whoops haha I meant editorial college.

No haha fuck ELECTORAL college.

Yeah have you heard of this? It’s like only five hundred people who are deciding the president now. Isn’t that wild?

It is right?

It’s like our votes don’t even matter so why did I even do half the registration to vote? It doesn’t even matter how many people support you because it’s just a popularity contest. Like none of us could have voted and it wouldn’t have mattered because these jabronis would have just picked a new president anyways to serve their agenda that they have. You might think your vote matters but it doesn’t because it’s all up to the ejaculate all over your college. I have a theory it’s mostly made up by the Illuminati and the cast of the “Celebrity Apprentice”. Speaking of what shows do you watch?

We don’t live in a democracy anymore which is too bad because democracy is such a pretty name. I saw this video on YouTube about this from Anonymous and he made some pretty good points. I would write his name on the ballot but I don’t know it.

Hey if Donald Trump doesn’t pay his taxes and he’s President now does that mean I don’t have to pay them either this year? Hahaha.

Also why can’t you vote if you have a criminal record but you can still RUN?

Was that funny or no? Sorry if you hated it, my roommate Jagon said it and he voted for a third party. I didn’t even know you could do that? Why would you? You can’t make your mind up? Haha just eenie-meenie-minie-mo it.

I borrowed his laptop once to Google “Aleppo” once just to confirm I knew what it meant and was forced to burn my retinas off after looking at his search history.

Yo, don’t even get me started on Mike Pence because I have to run now but maybe if you want to come over later we can talk about it?