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March 07, 2012

Who knew you could stop so much evil from the comfort of your room?


A Guide to Ending All Evil in the World


There is a lot of wrong in this world. People are starving every day. Children are being systematically slaughtered and recruited to fight in armies. Families cannot find enough drinking water to satisfy the thirst of their families. Nickelback has a thriving music career. Despite what common sense would tell you stopping evil really isn’t that complex, in fact, it’s quite simple.

Want to be a truly great activist and stop evil in this world? Then just follow this guide.


Yes, Facebook is a very valuable tool to stop evil in this world. See, if I post the Kony2012 video on my Facebook wall, maybe 2 or 3 people will actually bother to look at it. Maybe one of them will post in on their wall. What does that do? Well, more people are aware of the issue. And what does awareness do? IT RAISES EVEN MORE AWARENESS!!! Awareness is the key because when people actually know about evil, that’s when something gets done. I mean just look at Darfur, so much is changing over there. Personally, I like using Facebook activism because I can just post on message like STOPKONY2012 and then pretend something is actually changing.And something is change. That something that is changing is my self-esteem.


Twitter is another important tool to activism. #Stopkony is trending right now! Do you realize how much those children care that #stopkony is trending on Twitter. Probably a whole lot! Despite the US government knowing about Kony since 1986 and actually passing legislation regarding him, making Kony a trending topic on Twitter has done far more than anyone will ever know. If I actually “read newspapers” I might have known about the atrocities Kony has committed 5 years ago, but it takes a viral video to give us Americans something to throw ourselves behind.

Another important thing we can do to #stopkony is to get celebrities to get involved. I mean maybe Chuck Norris will go into Africa and spinning kick Kony’s head off. That really could change something. Or what if Lady Gaga made a song about the children that were slaughtered by Kony’s army? I’m sure the families of the children would really appreciate that! Then even more people would be aware! And if enough people are aware then maybe even more people would end up being aware!

Also, you should really spend a lot of time on Twitter telling people to get educated about their world. Kony has been slaughtering innocents since 1986, but now that there is a viral video made about it, there is no excuse for people not knowing who he is! It’s like the old saying goes “If there’s not a viral video made about it, is it really an issue?”

Buy a Bracelet

Nothing raises more awareness than bracelets! Whenever I see someone wearing a bracelet I ALWAYS ask about the bracelet and what it means! Making an actual difference in your community doesn’t even matter when you can wear a bracelet about massive slaughtering occurring in Africa! Because wearing bracelets are making an actual difference! You’re spreading awareness.

Sign an Online Petition

If you want to make a difference in this world, signing an online petition is one of the best ways to do it! It shows them that we mean business and that we are so serious about making a difference that’ll we’ll be willing to spend 30 seconds typing our name in into a bar and then hitting enter. They will really know how serious you are about changing the world then. Who is they? I don’t know, but at least you are spreading awareness that you are serious about your cause.

Throw Money Around

For example, if you want to stop the slaughtering of children by Joseph Kony, I would suggest throwing a ton of money to the Invisible Children campaign. Despite claims from the cleverly named Visible Children that less than a third of the money donated to it actually goes to the downfall of Kony (and that could possibly be being achieved through dubious means) it is still important to give money because at least you are doing something. Or you can tell your friends that you are doing something, and that is just as important as actually doing it!


If you want to change the world, all you have to do is follow these steps. I mean, you could go out into your community where you could actually make a legitimate impact, but then you’d have to leave your room. You’d have to spend hours of your time making an effort to help people near you. And to be honest, isn’t it just easier to spend seconds tweeting about something all the way across the world, then actually leaving your house and spending hours volunteering to make an immediate impact in your community?

Maybe that’s why nothing actually changes around here.