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June 29, 2015

A bunch of explicit text messages that Dov Charney allegedly sent to employees have been been revealed in court and they seem damning but they're totally innocent. I should know. I was the employee.

Last year, American Apparel fired its founder and CEO, Dov Charney, after he’d been hit with a number of sexual misconduct allegations. Charney struck back, suing American Apparel for defamation. In response, the clothing chain has released a number of incredibly explicit text messages that Charney allegedly sent to employees. Reading these messages, one would get the impression that Charney is a truly gross individual. In actuality, though, those texts, seen in context, are completely innocent. I should know. I’m the employee he sent them to.

Now, I totally understand why someone reading those text messages in the court documents would think the worst. They look really bad. I’ll be the first to admit that. I mean, read these:


However, every single one of these is totally explainable. You see, it all started when I mentioned to Dov that my parents owned a farm upstate. Dov is a big fan of animals and, a few weeks later, he texted me this:


See? There’s nothing indecent here. It’s just a simple case of bad auto-correct.

Dov began photographing the animals at my parents’ farm and, soon, he became very close to my family. He was like another son to my dad, who took to him right away. Before long, we were inviting him to family dinners. Soon after that, he was helping me prepare the dinners! Which led to this text.


Now, the lawyers want you to believe that Dov was texting a female employee, calling her a “baby girl,” and saying that he wants her saliva on his penis. Not at all! The man’s just a brilliant chef who wanted to feed my niece!

In the end, though, we decided on a pork meal. However, there was an issue in the preparations.


Can a guy ask for a better friend than this? I think not!

And he was a good friend in the best of times and the worst of times. Soon after that dinner, my parents went through a painful divorce. My father was hit extremely hard and became depressed. I asked Dov what I should do. He had the perfect idea instantly!

You may not know this but Dov Charney frequently does volunteer work at a school for disadvantaged children. He knew the cat at my dad’s farm had just had a litter of kittens so he invited my dad to bring them so he can photograph the kids playing with them. It was a beautiful day for everyone involved!


Unfortunately, my father’s depression got worse and worse. I didn’t know what to do. Like so many times during that period of my life, I turned to the wisest, most compassionate man I knew: Dov Charney.


Does that sound like some kind of “pervert” to you? To me, it sounds like a saint. And that’s who Dov is. He’s nothing like the monster that the media portrays him as. If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know that my family would ever have gotten through those tough times.

And we weren’t just coworkers. We were friends. When I told him I was leaving American Apparel to write comedy, he was nothing but supportive. He even helped me out when I had writer’s block!


So next time you read some news story claiming that Dov Charney, say, masturbated while giving an interview or tried to stop AA from hiring “ugly people” or called male employees “fags” or any of the other many, many things he’s been accused of, just remember that there’s more than one side to the story. Sometimes a “perfect cum target” is just an adorable kitten a kind man wants to photograph.