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June 18, 2015
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Returning from his six month suspension, Brian Williams will not take back his position as anchor of NBC Nightly News. Luckily, there are some other career paths for him at NBC that could suit him just fine.

Brian Williams’ six-month suspension from NBC is coming to an end and it’s expected that he will remain at the network just no longer as the anchor for NBC Nightly News. In February it came out that Williams had been falsely recounting experiences from his time spent in Iraq in 2003. This led many people to question the ethics and reliability of his reporting. Lester Holt has been hosting the Nightly News during Williams’ suspension and if he takes over the position, he will be the first African-American to solo host a major network’s nightly news program.
That leads us to the question: If and when Brian Williams returns to NBC, what will they have him do? People are speculating he will probably help contribute to cable news on MSNBC, but in case he doesn’t want to do that, here are some other ideas where his hyperbolic reporting skills can come in handy.

  • Become a teamster at the network and intimidate the other staff members with his vague tales of battle.
  • Refill Hoda and Kathie Lee’s wine glasses and if he does a good job maybe he can start selecting the bottles they drink! Those ladies are prone to exaggeration and he will fit right in!
  • Write up the cue cards for the anchors to read. That job literally requires you to amplify a story.
  • Play character roles on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, misleading Benson and Stabler to the wrong serial rapists.
  • Become an NBC weatherman! They are consistently exaggerating and no one seems to get too mad at them!
  • Work in hair and makeup — they always have the best and most elaborate stories that you’re forced to listen to.

Of course, if none of these work out, Williams can switch over to Fox where no facts are required when reporting the news!

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