5 Funny Votes
0 Die Votes
Published July 03, 2013


Lemming in a Microwave

Round and round it goes

Splatters Everywhere

Why don’t you love me, Dad?


Rose Petals look like blood

Taste like blood, smell like blood

I think I’m having my period

That’s not normal for a male, is it?


Kernel of Sweetcorn

Flaccid on my plate

A tantalising meal for a vegan

That’ll be in the toilet later


Kite in the wind

Floating zenfully above a field

Then soaring majestically

There’s a rape going on behind me


Snow on a beach

Crystals on pebbles

Nature overlapping nature

I didn’t take my medication this morning


Vince Vaughn

Vince Vaughn

Vince Vaughn

I really like Vince Vaughn


This is my ode to a Wagon Wheel

Your succulence is real

But what of morality?

I’ve forgotten how to rhyme


Woman, tempestuous as the sea

Constant as the tide

It’s been three years since Mum left

Apparently it was all my fault


The joy of an infant

The pure naivety

Sweet innocence is fleeting

My sisters beat me regularly


The sun on my back

I think of my forefather’s time

But at least I’m not black then

I’m not racist, just referring to slavery


Electric in the night

Falling stars, shooting stars

Blazing lights

I can’t afford my water bill this month


Lost in a maze

Of shelves, possessions,

Material goods

There’s ‘buy one get one free’ on selected yoghurts