If Cover Letters Were Honest
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to express interest in spending the majority of my time at your company in exchange for money. I hope you find this cover letter to exude confidence, charisma, and remarkable potential. I display some of these characteristics on my best days, but I think the best phrase to describe me would be: passably inconsistent. Here are some reasons why I think I would be a great candidate for this position:
1. I Need A Job
I need a job to pay my rent and bills. You have indicated this job is available.
2. Your Company Doesn’t Sound That Terrible
By researching your company, I have arrived at the conclusion that is it not an entirely terrible place to work.
I am inspired by what your company is doing in the world by offering a job and not being terrible. I think you’ll find my average skills that I have successfully embellished in this letter to be a serendipitous match for your team. I hope to discuss this position further with you later today or tomorrow. Thank you for your time and consideration!
Ready to interview when you are,
Your Future Employee