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August 08, 2017

These films are still problematic in many ways, but at least they allowed women to consume food like real people!

Feminist movies are all the rage now because women are finally great, says some men! While a lot of these films still may not pass the Bechdel Test, we won’t call them sexist just yet. They do showcase the female species doing something groundbreaking and rarely seen in cinema - consuming food! A woman avoiding death through sustenance? Whoa, strong!

1. Eat Pray Love
Julia Roberts portrays a privilege white lady exploiting other cultures for her own self care, but what does that self care involve? Eating food, praying for food, and loving fooooood! Hooray for better representation of female appetites!

2. Showgirls
Sure, Elizabeth Berkley’s portrayal of Nomi Malone is over-the-top and objectifying, but Nomi manages to survive her constantly topless Vegas lifestyle while mostly consuming garbage food and still staying super hot! Hello, powerful woman alert! Even empty calories can’t dethrone this powerful female protagonist!

3. The Princess Diaries
Even though the moral of this story is that the best thing you can be in life is Anne Hathaway as Julie Andrew’s granddaughter, she does it while eating corn dogs, pears from a fictional European country, and green tea ice cream. Umm, that has antioxidants! Long live women!

4. Lady and the Tramp
Definitely some unrealistic body images here considering none of us will be dogs, but all women love spaghetti, even bitches!

5. Passengers
This film was ripped apart for his sexist portrayal of a man waking a Jennifer Lawrence from her cryogenic slumber because he thought she was pretty. Doi! It’s Jennifer Lawrence. While the entire plot rests on a super creepy act, don’t forget about the scene where she pushes a lunch tray out of the way to get all smoochy on him. Okay, J Law, we’ll allow you to let a man come between you and your food this time, but only because you’re in space!

6. Grease
Sandy may change the tightness of her pants as well as her lung cancer risks for a boy, but she eats lunch in the cafeteria and hangs out at the burger joints just like everyone else, so this is actually a very important film for teenage girls, right? Right?!

7. Titus
Tamora, Queen of the Goths plans a giant “fuck you!” to Titus by encouraging her sons to rape his daughter Lavinia. Okay, we can see how it’s problematic that the female lead is totally bad at uplifting women, but she full-heartedly eats a pie without even worrying about if it will make her a fat queen. Sure, it’s made of her rapist sons and then she dies by the hand of Titus , but she was portrayed by Jessica Lange so we have no other choice than to call this feminist!

8. Pretty Woman
Heeeey Jules! Fancy running into you on this list again! In Pretty Woman, we learn the important difference between nice clothes and and clothes that show you live in Hollywood. But no matter the difference, men will still try and touch you! While the moral of the story is to change for Richard Gere, Roberts’ character, Vivian, does get nice foods she doesn’t understand how to eat. But she learns! Go women!

Please disregard everything else wrong with these movies. Any woman knows it’s hard to have it all, but being allowed to eat is half the battle! If you can eat, you can do anything!