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Stats & Data

May 24, 2013

A new Stanford Study links White House Scandals to Super Storms

Forget trying to predict the weather by watching the reaction of birds or taking a hint from your little dog, Lucy that’s hiding under the bed.

A team of scientists at Stanford University made a startling discovery while tracking violent storms over the past 6 years.  The computer program that they hoped would aid them in predicting super storms established a direct correlation between the timing of natural disasters and the scandals committed under the Obama Administration, adding bigger the scandal, bigger the storm.

“It’s eerie,” affirmed one political professor who helped confirm the data.  ”Hurricane Sandy, and the terrorist attack in Benghazi; Tornadoes in Oklahoma, and the IRS scandal,” it’s almost as if the weather is blowing up destruction to cover up corruption.”

Due to their findings, researchers have developed what they call an Obamameter.  When paired with a Doppler radar, satellite imagery, or a seismometer, the Obamameter can accurately foretell what type of preparation citizens should take depending on what kind of political shit-storm is brewing in Washington.

Scientists and political advisors both agree that if this discovery continues to hold true, and the Obama scandals are indicators of destructive weather, then you better be prepared for one wild-ass hurricane season.