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June 04, 2018

Nothing cuter than an ice cream truck full of zombies. 13 of the most ridiculous things from last night's 'Fear The Walking Dead' S04E07 "The Wrong Side of Where You Are Now"

1) Fun With Guns

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John decides that now, as every gun in the world is being fired and he has a hole in his stomach, is a great time to relive all the fun moments of his two day relationship and tell his girlfriend he got her Scrabble note.

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And Alicia is shooting a gun so big. Truly a comically big gun. HOW BIG IS IT?

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Damn, big enough to blow up an ambulance apparently.

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Morgan tells Al this story’s almost finished. But he couldn’t be more wrong. Next week is just a mid-season finale, there’s still at least another half season of story to go here.

2) Fool Me Once…

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I’m sorry, but I have a zero tolerance policy for getting tricked twice by a little girl. I will tolerate getting tricked one time, but have absolute no tolerance for that second trick. Beat it, sister!

3) “This Has To Stop Someplace”

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Morgan’s right. This has to stop someplace. Maybe after season six of the first show with no spinoff, that feels like a good place to stop.

4) Just Leave Him To Die

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Obligatory mention that these time jumps are ass and still annoying seven episodes in. Booty time jumps aside, why are they trusting any of this? Just let this dude die! He wears clashing animal prints and is also not very nice. Two totally acceptable reasons to cut someone out of your life.

5) He’s Walking Way Too Close To The Zombies

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Like, precariously close. Why is he walking so close to those truck zombies. This is how accidents happen!

6) Knife To Know You

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I don’t know what the point of him pulling a knife on New Fake Doctor Lady. It felt kind of pointless, which is odd because there was a pointy thing (the knife) directly involved.

7) Un-Building Their New Life One Board At A Time

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Madison explains that she’s not about to leave behind the life she’s been building as she is literally unbuilding it one wood board at a time. She just wants her kids to have a REAL LIFE. Something normal! Which is why they’re living in a baseball stadium eating dirt sandwiches. Aaaaand she just told this lady about the car she prepped with supplies to escape when ALL THIS WOMAN DOES IS STEAL CARS PREPPED WITH SUPPLIES TO ESCAPE. Nice one, Madison.

8) Why Is She In A Leather Jacket?

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It is way too fucking hot for that jacket. This is driving me insane. It must be hot in that thing and disrupting her ability to make reasonable decisions, because she just gave away her getaway car. It’s a GETaway car, Madison! Not a GIVEaway car. Now is not the time to get those mixed up.

9) Who Cares About Charlie?

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Madison is so worried about Charlie going out on the road and becoming a WHOLE NEW PERSON. Maybe that’s a good thing? This current version of Charlie is a backstabbing snake in the grass, whole new person sounds pretty nice right about now. Also maybe not a good time to talk about making sure you remain a good person while waving a gun in the face of an injured man and sending him off to die.

10) Build That Wall

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How good could that wall they’re building possibly be if it can be completely removed then put back up again then removed then put back up again multiple times in one afternoon?

11) They’re A Little Too Good At Driving Trucks

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They’re doing synchronized parking lot maneuevers with huge trucks full of zombies and I just don’t buy it. The stunt drivers got greedy and had too much fun and now I’m COMPLTELY taken out of this moment. Also it’s cute that they use an ice cream truck. Very cute. 10 points to the Vultures in the cute column on the ice cream truck. If I had to summarize how I feel about the ice cream truck, in a word, it would be “cute.” If I had to do it in two words it would be “very cute.”

12) Strand Yells At Another Person Then Doesn’t Stop Them

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Strand yells at yet another person to not do a dumb thing and does not prevent them from doing that dumb thing. He actually goes along for the dumb idea ride, he’s getting worse at this. I liked the part when a guy I’ve never seen before says something and Strand is like, “SHUT THE FUCK UP, DOUGLAS!!!"A classic Douglas and Strand moment.

13) Al Has Layers

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Here’s a fun shortcut for writing. If you want a character to have layers, ya know those defining things beyond owning a camera and a big truck full of guns, all you have to do is have them say out loud, “I have layers.” Voila! What a layered character. Writing is easy, that’s why everybody does it and is rich. TUNE IN NEXT WEEK! What will happen to Nick and the gang trapped in that car in what appears to be their final moments? They’ll all survive because we see them in future episodes because this time jump structure chews sack. What’s up with all those charred zombies inside the stadium? Looks like Free Napalm Night at the ballpark was, for the third consecutive year, a total disaster. Will a character struggle with the moral dilemma of saving the life of an enemy because human life is precious? THAT IS LITERALLY ALL ANYBODY ON THIS DANG SHOW DOES ANYMORE WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON. None of this and more! Next time on the S04E08 mid-season finale of Fear The Walking Dead.