Making Scents of American Politics
A new company, Tell It Like It Is LLC is launching Political Nonscents, the (not so fragrant) essence of modern American politics in a can. Political Nonscents is crowd funding on IndieGoGo to raise $50,000.
In the spirit of shameless self promotion that seems to characterize much of the current crop of presidential candidates, I interviewed myself.
What was the inspiration for Political Nonscents?
With the 2016 elections heating up, we detected a certain aroma wafting on the edge of our senses. It seemed to swirl around the initial announcements of candidacy, proclamations of the respective parties, and seeping sewers that are Super PACs.
So what did you do with that observation?
Drawing on the burgeoning pile of righteousness and dubious facts that floated on the rising political tide we were able to capture and concentrate the essence of the collective output of our modern political polemic.
How do you distill the aromatic essence of American politics?
Through a painstaking process of watching every debate, attending rallies, and engaging with every pollster who calls or knocks on the door.
That sounds painful.What did you do once you captured it?
With scent in hand, we did the only practical thing we could…we bottled it up as quickly as possible.With landfills across the US at capacity, and the Yucca Mountain Waste Depository indefinitely closed, we came up with the only viable disposal solution available to us – the American consumer. Out of concern for our fellow citizens we have provided ample warning labels on each container, and even a scratch and sniff early warning and acclimatization system.
What exactly is in the can?
We have two versions –GOP Political Nonscents and DNC Political Nonscents. Each can of Political Nonscents contains the form and fragrance of manure. Like most of the current crop of candidates, Political Nonscents contains nothing organic or natural,despite claims to the contrary. If you are feeling bold, pop open a can, but be forewarned that like your electoral choices, the scent may linger 4+ years.
How are you funding your launch of Political Nonscents?
We are currently crowd funding on IndieGoGo.We are seeking to raise a minimum of $50,000. We need the funding to get canning machinery (food canneries are not that enthusiastic about handling the essence of American politics), and to meet order minimums on components.
Isn’t$50,000 a lot of money?
Not in politics. It is less than 1/100,000th of what is anticipated to be spent on the 2016 US elections.
How can people get their own cans of Political Nonscents?
Help fund us on IndieGoGo. For$10 you get the can of your choice shipped to you. For $25 you get a 3-PAC. For$100 you get a Party-PAC of 13 cans. For $500 you can form your own Super PAC of 70 cans. Please note that if you form a Super PAC you must agree to not coordinate distribution of Political Nonscents with any individual candidate.
Will you deliver on your promises?
Unlike many candidates,we truly do have a fully formed plan to deliver on our promises.
Isn’t Political Nonscents offensive?
Yes it is.
Is there anything else you would like to share with readers?
A: We hope that everyone will do their part as concerned American citizens and help us diffuse the ever growing stench by supporting us on IndieGoGo and taking responsibility for one or more cans of Political Nonscents.