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May 01, 2010
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I have these friends who have decided to get married. I have known both of them for many years and they have lived together for five years and have a child together. I have known these two from way back when they were married to other people. In fact I was at both of their first wedding. I recieved the invitation and have decided to opt out of the whole thing. When I told them they were quite suprised, and started to give me considerable guilt grief when I snapped and told them this.......

Look the first time you  are married I can see that you expect the church, the cake, the limo and all that crap. But lets face it....the second or third time around you should realize how much bullshit it all really is. Do yourself a big fucking favor and go to vegas drop a grand on a service at one of  those drive through chapels and a hotel room, have a steak and get your game on, come back home and spend the other ten grand that your spending on this stupid ass wedding and buy a freaking mini-van to haul all of your freaking kids to school in and get rid of the junk your driving. I mean come on you've been living together for five fucking years.....Its not like you were swept up in a hurricaine of passion and the whole king Aurthur bullshit....And I'm not buying you guys any fucking wedding present. I mean come on just because you guys feel bored and think you need a spark try to be considerant of other peoples agendas and total lack of care for your desire to dress up and pretend to not live in the ghetto for one afternoon. I mean this thing is going to cost you like 10 grand, wtf? All I'm saying is that its just awfully selfish of you to expect people you've known for years to get on a plane, fly halfway across the country, rent a motel room just so that you guys can pretend to be virgins for a day. I don't get it,. really I dont. They responded with- tell us how you really feel- So I'm thinking of maybe getting them a bottle of Tequillia and a couple ounces of pot. That should be a decent second wedding present. 
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