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October 07, 2008


John McCain has taken off the gloves. And not just because it's easier to take his pills that way. He played the Bill Ayers card, and so the Obama campaign has countered with the Charles Keating card, creating a website , complete with a 13 minute documentary about the scandal. The problem with the Keating card is that it doesn't involve blowing stuff up. Nor does it even involve the usual GOP scandal element: gay sex. It's purely financial. Will it break through? Maybe not, but some have speculated that the reason the Obama camp went with it was just to goad John McAngry into becoming even angrier and, who know, go into some kind of Vietnam flashback or something during the debate and trying to frag Obama.

So what really happened during the Keating Five? And why is John McCain such a bad leader that he can't even get his own scandal named after him? It's all in our 23/6 Keating Five FAQ...

So what does five mean?

Five? It's a number. What are you doing?

Sorry, wasn't sure how far back we were supposed to start.

Not that far.

Okay, what's the Keating Five refer to?

The Keating Five were five U.S. Senators involved in a corruption scandal in the late 1980's.

So it's not a boy band?


Are you sure?


That's weird, because I'm pretty sure they're a boy band.

Well, you're wrong.

We'll just have to agree to disagree on that one, Ivy League.


You went to college. So that makes you stupid, stupid.

You've been watching Sarah Palin.

You betcha.

Don't say that again.

So where's the "Keating" come from?

Charles Keating was the chairman of Lincoln Savings and Loan, in Irvine, California. Deregulation in the early 80's allowed them to invest in junk bonds.

Good. Regulation is bad! That's what Sarah says!

But the junk bonds went south and the Lincoln began failing.

Just like Sarah says, we need more regulation!

The Federal Home Loan Bank Board began investigating Lincoln in 1986. Keating reached out to five senators to get them to pressure the FHLB to stop the investigation.

So was the Team of Mavericks involved?


McCain. He's part of a Team of Mavericks.

Ah. But aren't maverick's supposed to be loners? Isn't that kind of the whole idea of being a maverick?

Don't try your gotcha thing with me.

Yes, John McCain was involved. McCain attended two meetings between regulators and some of the five senators.

What's wrong with that?

The regulators said they felt pressured by the Senators to soft-peddle the investigation. Plus, McCain had also taken $112,000 from Keating and McCain's second wife Cindy and her father in law had invested $359,000 with Keating in a shopping center. The McCains had also taken 9 trips paid for by Keating. This made it look like a quid-pro-quo.

What language you talkin'?


Isn't that the language of terrorists?


Well I've never spoken it and I'm not a terrorist.




So what happened to The Maverick?

Lincoln collapsed, costing the taxpayers $2 billion.

Wow, seems like a bargain.

And 23,000 people lost their life savings.

Minorities need to manage their finances better.

Who said anything about minorities?

Well, they do.

You've been watching Fox, haven't you.

I like to hear all sides.

In any case, in the hearings, McCain was reprimanded by the Senate Ethics Committee for "poor judgment."

You know what poor judgment is?


Palling around with terrorists.

Don't start.


What are you doing?

Being authentic. Sending your readers a wink. [Wink]

Stop it.

It's what we do in Alaska.

You've never been to Alaska.

Alaska is a state of mind. And I live there now.

How is it there.

A little boring.

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Inappropriate Hottie Rundown: Stars of the Smear Campaign!

Things That Are Taller Than John McCain

Dickipedia: Anderson Cooper