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Published February 13, 2009
ORIGINAL Myspace Blog Post: Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Woke up this morning to the rawest of raw throats in the history of the world and about a gallon of mucus in my face. Sooooo hot, I'll give you ladies a moment to rub a quick one out...

Okay I'll assume you're done. I called out of work and decided to utilize my health insurance and pay the doctor a visit. Why the F' not? It only costs me like 20 bucks... I make my appointment and booyah, 1:40 I am rockin and rolling... sorta.

First of all the place has NO parking, but there is free valet parking. Gotta love Orange County. I park it myself (I'm a man... I can park my own shit, thank you.) and head on into the doctor's office. Some brief backstory: My sinuses are cocksuckers, always. Nothing they prescribe ever works. So whatever... wait in the waiting room, go in the office and wait some more, talk to a nurse and wait some more, check my ears temp, blood pressure blah blah blah. I'm healthy... oh yeah, forgot about my throat. Apparently my insurance company is paying $680 for the following diagnosis: "You're going to be alright, I'm going to prescribe you some nasal spray for the post nasal drip.". Ironically I have been giving myself this diagnosis for the small price of one handjob for roughly 14 years.

By the way, the first thing she tries to give me is Nasonex which cost me about 100 bones last time and did exactly JACK SHIT. So then she goes with Rhinofix or some such nonsense. Allegedly covered by my insurance. Quick jaunt to CVS shows me it is in fact covered by my insurance... a whole 17 dollars of it. The other $88 I am supposed to pay myself. Wow... thank you rapist! So of course I bother them for generic shit which will cost 15 bucks but they have to get my doctor to rock it prescript-style. Guess who has free samples over at the office? That's right! So I end up getting like 240 dollars worth of Rhinorocker for free and ummm... it's not working. AWESOME! By the way my throat is still sore and I hate you all.

One last thing... the only thing that works instantly is Afrin nasal spray. My doctor warned me that I should never use it more than 3 days in a row because it becomes addicting. Hmmm... who the sex knew being able to breath through my fucking nose would be so addicting!? So yeah, I'm not fucking with the 10 dollar Afrin that actually works... what a fucking racket.

FUCK YOU.
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