or
0 Funny Votes
0 Die Votes
182 Views
Published November 25, 2008

My mom just bought a new lincon. So thats going to ingulf at least an hour of thanksgiving. I love the constant reminderĀ of my mother's wealth. I often joke with her, she always says "When I am so old I can't take care of myself I know you kids are going to put me in a nursing home." I always respond with, " No we wouldn't do that mom, it cost to much money, I'm just going to hire a crack head to change your diapers and I'm going to spend my enheritance knowing you will always be at home." Thats always a big ha ha among my siblings. True though. (You never know if she is reading this shit.) So between my mothers Lincon and what ever trip she is planning to take this spring, and the hours of monologue of how they got out of the stocks just before the plumit and my sisters midlife divorce, I should have a wonderfull thursday. Plan is King- 1. get there late. 2. leave as soon as the eating is over. 3. Don't bring stuff that takes alot of plating, the old wash and return trick, I'll be having dinner with my sister next summer and see my platter. Yea I'm not falling for that one this year, Nope, not again. Of course she always says, "You gave me that, I remember you were drinking and said I could have it." 15 years and it stops thursday. Moms dogs are rude. My dog is so well behaived her dogs are rude, rude, rude, little shits. Climb up on your head. All the way up on your head, like a freaking hat. What the fuck? Who lets their dogs do that? I have to be carefull when I am there not to let the freak out response bounce one of them off the wall. Oh wait, then there is always that obsurd vacum cleaner or some sort of oven grill-composter that Mom bought and needs me to throw it together real quick. Thats going to bring on the sweat. Nothing like bending over for four hours getting cranberry burning nose burps. God bless yall for reading this, I feel better already. Thanks.

Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web