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July 19, 2016
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"My sexual fetish is being dehydrated so I'm going to get very turned on very soon."

It’s stinky hot out, folks, and when it is this hot out all you are able to muster saying is “it is so hot.” That is understandable. But it’s also understandable that you want to switch it up a bit and say “it is so hot” in different ways. (We don’t mean in different languages because we’re not that smart.)

Feel free to Melania Trump any of these ~cool~ sayings about how ding dang hot it is!

  • Well, it’s certainly not cold.
  • Hot tub? More like hot WHOLE CITY AND WORLD.
  • Wow call me Sylvia Plath, because my head’s in a dang oven.
  • It’s so hot I’m having fever dreams that Donald Trump is the Republican Nominee for President of the United States.
  • Does this feel spicy to you? The outside around us I mean.
  • My sexual fetish is being dehydrated so I’m going to get very turned on very soon.
  • Damn! It’s hot in here, there must not be enough Toros in the atmosphere!
  • I might take my skin off.
  • I’m sweating in spots I didn’t know I had.
  • The terror threat level is a code red, and the terrorist responsible is the sun.
  • It’s sticky-icky-licky out here.
  • Every day is SUN-day or DIE-day.
  • I am trapped in hot milk.
  • We should preemptively euthanize all old people so to avoid the unexpected sadness of some of them passing away from this heat wave.
  • Man it’s a hot one, Rob Thomas.
  • Have you seen Paul Feig’s The Heat because if not, it’s play everywhere outside today!
  • Wow it’s as hot outside as a take on Slate dot com.
  • Get me to a pool, Batman!
  • It is. Getting so hot. I’m gonna take my clothes off.
  • FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
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