INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT - DAY
JERRY AND ELAINE ARE SITTING ON THE COUCH - THEY HEAR A NOISE IN THE HALLWAY.
Hear that? Guess who’s back.
JERRY OPENS THE DOOR. KRAMER SLOWLY ENTERS.
I thought you weren’t coming back from
Montana until Monday.
Well, the campaign volunteer BBQ ended
a few days early.
Uh, well, there was an incident.
I body slammed Ben Jacobs.
Yeah, I body slammed him and they took
him to the hospital and they canceled
the whole thing.
You body slammed who?
Ben Jacobs from The Guardian.
Well, you know, we were doing an
interview with Fox News and, you know,
I was dealing, and I was rally
throwing some smoke. And then, Ben
Jacobs comes up, crowding me with a
microphone asking about CBO scores. So
next thing you know I’m holding him in
Wow! Ben Jacobs.
Yeah, well, Ben Jacobs or not, I own
that interview room…So I get close,
you know, inside, a little chin music,
and put him right on his pants! ‘Cause
I gotta intimidate when I’m in that
Wow. You body slammed him!
A brouhaha breaks out and, you know,
someone from Fox News pulls me from
behind, you know, and I’m swinging. I
looked down, and whoa man, it really hit me, I’m beating
up Ben Jacobs.
So then what?
There’s all these Buzzfeed reporters
screaming, “Jacobs! Jacobs! What have
you done with Jacobs? You killed
So wha’d you do?
Well, I got the hell out of there!