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May 25, 2017
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Kramer returns from Montana...

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT - DAY

JERRY AND ELAINE ARE SITTING ON THE COUCH - THEY HEAR A NOISE IN THE HALLWAY.

JERRY

Hear that? Guess who’s back.

JERRY OPENS THE DOOR. KRAMER SLOWLY ENTERS.

KRAMER

Hey…

JERRY

I thought you weren’t coming back from

Montana until Monday.

KRAMER

Well, the campaign volunteer BBQ ended

a few days early.

JERRY

Why?

KRAMER

Uh, well, there was an incident.

JERRY

What happened?

KRAMER

I body slammed Ben Jacobs.

JERRY

What?

KRAMER

Yeah, I body slammed him and they took

him to the hospital and they canceled

the whole thing.

ELAINE

You body slammed who?

A BEAT

KRAMER

Ben Jacobs from The Guardian.

JERRY

What happened?

KRAMER

Well, you know, we were doing an

interview with Fox News and, you know,

I was dealing, and I was rally

throwing some smoke. And then, Ben

Jacobs comes up, crowding me with a

microphone asking about CBO scores. So

next thing you know I’m holding him in

the air.

JERRY

Wow! Ben Jacobs.

KRAMER

Yeah, well, Ben Jacobs or not, I own

that interview room…So I get close,

you know, inside, a little chin music,

and put him right on his pants! ‘Cause

I gotta intimidate when I’m in that

interview room.

JERRY

Wow. You body slammed him!

KRAMER

A brouhaha breaks out and, you know,

someone from Fox News pulls me from

behind, you know, and I’m swinging. I

looked down, and whoa man, it really hit me, I’m beating

up Ben Jacobs.

ELAINE

So then what?

KRAMER

There’s all these Buzzfeed reporters

screaming, “Jacobs! Jacobs! What have

you done with Jacobs? You killed

Jacobs!”

ELAINE

So wha’d you do?

KRAMER

Well, I got the hell out of there!

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