Ed Sheeran’s Lute
Whether you like it or not, Ed Sheeran is the new pop star of the Seven Kingdoms. Although some folks in Westeros may like his new song Theon Out Loud, we think he’ll have a hard time climbing the charts after his lute is thrown through the Moon Door. Better luck next time Red-Headed Viper.
Bran’s Childhood Dolls
If there’s one thing we know about Bran, it’s that he used to climb the Winterfell tower to secretly play with the dolls Arya never used. Now that his new role as the three-eyed raven requires a bit more maturity, it’s time to watch Bran say good-bye to his childhood. Winter may be here, but it’s time for a Game of Thrones styled spring cleaning.
Leftover Red Wedding Invitations
I haven’t seen a deadlier wedding invitation since George Costanza’s. In a symbolic “fuck you” to the surviving Frey’s, let’s give the town below the Moon Door their very own ticker day parade.
One of the biggest reveals from last season included everyone’s favorite Wicca showing her true geriatric colors. Although we do not condone making life any harder for the elderly, if anyone should have their teeth thrown through the Moon Door, it’s definitely the child murdering Melisandre.
George RR Martin’s Typewriter
The “But you have to read the books” people need to give it a rest - George RR Martin is never going to finish his vision. Let’s put the issue to bed and break the fourth wall at the same time! We hope the GOT show runners take full control by literally throwing George RR Martin’s personal typewriter through the Moon Door this season.
A Wendy’s Frosty
It’s a proven fact that everyone loves seeing a milkshakes splatter against the ground after a long fall. If there’s one thing that could unite the Seven Kingdoms, and even bring a smile to the Night King’s face, it would be watching this chocolatey treat be thrown through the Moon Door this season!
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