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Published October 01, 2008

Dallas Area Rapid Transit...Yes indeedy folks, certainly one of the snappier gov't acronyms I've come across. And I ride the shit out of it. Not the buses mind you, it's not that I mind the smell of dirty people or McDonalds, it's when the smells combines that I get surly. Just the rail. And don't patronize me, I know it's not the coolest. My friends and co-workers all give me the same line.

"It's just like driving, we both get to the same place." Oh yeah? Did you pick up any homeless dudes that shit their pants recently in the back seat of your Jetta? No. Well I did! Seemed like after NoJobBob dropped a wet deuce in his acid washed Lee jeans he thought, "Time for a train ride." See him? He's standng next to the guy with the mullet trying to fight it's way from underneath his 'Kid Rock' hat. Yeah him, the one with the sleevless UFC T-shirt that hasn't showered since Alf was on television. We rode to work together today. Yaaaaay!

This morning I look up from my hangover and accidentally make eye contact with a man wearing a bicycle helmet, those one piece pajamas with the feet in them and he's eating one of those big turkey legs, like you get at the fair. Which by the way, regardless of it's owner and the fact it was 6:45 in the morning, looked absolutely delicious. He sees me looking at the rubber action grip on the bottom of his feet.

"Pretty sweet right? I can go outside, I can go back inside, I can go outside, inside, it really doesn't matter. Sky's the limit."

Unfortunately where I work, this was the smartest thing I heard all day. This is my stop...

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