Stats & Data

July 18, 2015

A satire of Rachel Dolezal

Rachel Dolezal Comic Rant

Rachel Dolezal Comic Rant (1)

Ryan Nelson


Rachel Dolezal is the punchline to a racist joke America has been writing for over 200 years. What better way to accentuate a year riddled with more racial turbulence than has been seen in a long while than to have a university professor profess to be ‘black’ (btw, every time I use the word ‘black’ referring to Ms. Dolezal’s racial identification, I will be putting the word in quotes to reconcile her ‘truth’ with everyone else’s, kind of like listing athletes who tested positive for drugs with an asterisk next to their names).

We can’t correct her. We cannot make her admit anything. She’s using the very thing academia has touted to have for years, but has never really found a real-world application for until now. Rachel has redefined truth for herself. For Rachel’s truth, no one else has to agree with her. It is her truth. She owns the copyright to her own reality and if others disagree, well, it doesn’t really matter to her. They don’t know her truth. How lucky we were when Rachel stepped down from her ethereal truth cloud to address us uneducated ‘one-truthers’ about her higher order of thinking. She took the time to explain to us why we were wrong about her and why she doesn’t owe anyone an apology. It is our own fault. We tried to apply the world’s truth to her and she wasn’t having any of it. Our mistake.

She, like Neo from the Matrix, is the “sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation..the eventuality of an anomaly.” She’s called America’s bluff and cashed in on the real world implications of a social construct built by university pontificators over the years. We can’t hold her accountable for her actions because she isn’t bound by our laws of biology.

She is the attempt at reconciling the forward-thinking philosophical mishmash of the “culture of one” with the white guilt-ridden attitude of affirmation.

There is a reason that few, if any, people (African-American or white) questioned her biological background when she was growing in influence over Spokane. Lighter skinned African Americans are associated with the institutionalized rape of slaves by their white owners. Rachel Dolezal couldn’t have concocted a better cover story that no one would check into, not because she is a good ‘passer’ or that other African Americans could perceive that she actually was ‘black,’ but because lighter skinned African Americans could come from a troubled past, so many times, It is better not to ask. Immunity.