Full Credits

Stats & Data

June 08, 2012

A look back at baseball's finest.


You’ve probably seen those creepy sepia photos of baseball players from the 1880s. Blank expressions and dead, hollow eyes were all the rage, making baseball player portraits interchangeable with the era’s other national pastime of corpse photography. The only way you can tell that the people in those photos are baseball players and not fancied up dead people are their uniforms made of thick, non-breathable fabrics, and the amusing physical deformities that gave the players their unique nicknames.
Jed “One Leg” McGinty
Phillip “One Finger On Each Hand” Jenkins
Earless Perkins
Footless Roy Warbles
Hat Matthews (he wore a top hat instead of a baseball cap)
Pip “Hand For a Foot” MacElroy
Mac “Foot For a Hand” Pipelroy
Gangrenous Gregory Carouthers
Diamond Jimmy Diamond
Joey “The Robot” Metalman
“Alien” Zort Zlyzzx 
“Tiny” Daniel Davenport 
Christy “Curiously High Voice and Won’t Change in Front of the Other Players” Donahue
Normal Norman Butterworth
Nickname Watkins*
*Watkins was cursed with a series of birthmarks on his forearms and face that spelled out what appeared to be the word “nickname,” leading to his nickname, Nickname. Also, his birth name was really Nickname, his parents having been inspired by his birthmarks.