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February 24, 2016

I just can't wait to kick Superman's ass. That no good alien is about to get whats coming to him. "Batman, why do you hate Superman so much" you ask? Simple. Because I'm a Xenophobe.

I can’t wait to kick Superman’s ass. That false God has brought nothing but chaos and destruction to our doorstep ever since he showed up uninvited. He is a danger to not only our society, but also our culture and comfort. We need to collectively rise up and tell this no good, dirty foreigner to get the hell out of our country. What, you didn’t know I’m a Xenophobe?

Yeah, that’s the whole reason I want to fight Superman. I’m not sure what gave you the impression that I, Bruce Wayne, wouldn’t be a racist nationalist. The signs have always been there. For one, I’m old money rich. That’s really the only reason I can do what I do. Batman only exists because I am filled with hate but also have the funds to carry out my malice. The beauty of me is that I’m very rich. I actually said that before Donald J. Trump (who, by the way, I fully endorse). I’m totally baffled that you people hadn’t figured it out already: I’m a piece of shit!

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Here I am at one of the MANY Trump rallies I have attended

I have a practically unlimited amount of money that I use almost exclusively to beat up on the poor and less fortunate (not to mention the mentally and physically disabled). I have technology that I refuse to give to the local police force simply because I don’t trust them and would rather have all the power to myself. How can you expect me to trust someone who makes under $95,000 a year with a $6,000 Grapnel Gun? I mean come on. Especially now that they are letting women hold a badge and a gun. This is who I am. These are the Batman’s opinions. Sorry not sorry.

I was doing a pretty good job of keeping order before this undocumented alien came down from the stars. He thinks he can come into my country and push his spaceman agendas on me? I’d like to see him fucking try.

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Here I am with my gun at the border personally making sure America stays American
(Yes, I use a gun. How come all of your preconceptions about Batman are wrong?)

That’s another thing. His stupid “Kryptonian writing” all over his suit. Excuse me pal, but, like it or not, that logo on your chest is an “S.” Don’t fly around in our airspace telling us what letters mean.

“Every immigrant who comes here should be required within five years to learn English or leave the country.”

— Theodore Roosevelt

Here is the time the US Government attempted to escort Superman across the border



I hope you’re reading this, Clark, so that you have the chance to run back to were you came from now because when I ask “Do you bleed?” I already know the answer. I’ll make sure that you bleed, just to keep the stripes on our flag red. The fate of this great nation counts on it.