Powers Play with Coach Powers Arbuckle: College Football Week 2

WEEK 1 RECAP

Hello, Gentlemen, Coach Powers Arbuckle here, and we’re off! If you’re a fan of Florida State, Alabama, Auburn or UCLA you’ve probably already invested in some new undergarments. If your favorite team is based anywhere in the state of South Carolina, well, there’s always next year. Kenny Hill already has his name in the Heisman hat after just one game. Hell, let’s just go ahead and give him one of Johnny’s trophies…

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No not THAT trophy, I meant an actual trophy…

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Well that’s closer, I suppose, but I’ll be damned if I let Brent Musburger handle the graphics again. Regardless, Texas A&M looks like they’re the real deal and Kevin Sumlin could teach long division to Radio. Jameis Winston’s interception total was higher than his off-season legal run-ins which I didn’t think was possible. If Todd Gurley doesn’t pan out in the NFL he could set records as an American Gladiator (or as a “Running Man” if that ever actually happens?). It’s been said that Gurley made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. He’s fast enough for you, old man. Florida fans are pissed because according to their 2nd season on NCAA Football 2013, they would have beaten Idaho by 52 on All-American.

We hit last weeks Powers Play thanks to a last minute field goal by Penn State and finished up 2-1 on the day. Penn State (+2) and Georgia (-7) rung it in while FSU (-17.5) was a major miss (except for the fact they nearly covered in the 1st quarter before almost squandering the game entirely).

WEEK 2 POWERS PLAY

This week’s Powers Play takes us out to Pac-12 Country, California. Palo Alto, where everyone drives a Prius and the guy/girl ratio at any frat party is the same as that time you and your friends skipped school to see the Mortal Kombat movie. SC comes into this game as a 3 point underdog and Stanford is expected to ground and pound their way to their first conference win of the year. That being said, this weeks Powers Play is USC (+3)! When the Cardinal use those gatorade towels to defog their glasses and see the USC Song Girls and the rest of the sun-kissed undergrads making the trip, they’ll lose their laser focus and it’ll be everything coach Shaw can do just to keep them from internally com-busting on the sidelines. These Trojans officially do not get distracted. Kate Upton could cat daddy through that locker room in pasties and popsicle sticks and those guys wouldn’t bat an eye. If this game was later in the season I may lean towards Stanford but USC’s depth shouldn’t be as big an issue in week 2 and look for this game to be close up till the end. USC (+3).

(What’s the “Cat Daddy”? A picture is worth a thousand words but a video is worth a jillion…)

BONUS PLAYS

They say that Michigan State is the Stanford of the Big 10. They say that Stanford is the Alabama of the Pac 12 making Michigan State a distant cousin from Alabama. I like Oregon to cover the 11.5 in Eugene and Marcus Mariota get his name back at the top of the Heisman list doing it. Oregon (-11.5). The Virginia Tech Hokies sit at an 11 point underdog to Ohio State this weekend. OSU got a late cover against Navy (Yes, the team, not the battleships) and didn’t click until late in the contest. Ohio State likely wins the game but look for VT to Beamer Ball their way to beating the line with some solid special teams play.VT (+11).

RECAP

- USC (+3) vs. Stanford
- Oregon (-11.5) vs. Michigan State
- Virginia Tech (+11) vs. Ohio State

GAME I’M STAYING AWAY FROM

Michigan vs. Notre Dame (-4.5). Both teams actually looked pretty good last week so this one is really a crap shoot. If you have to bet on this game, take Michigan and the points because NO ONE LIKES NOTRE DAME (and Rudy is a made up story, ask Joe Montana).

JUST FOR FUN

ECU +17 vs. South Carolina. Don’t sleep on ECU this year, the Pirates may be one of the best teams in the state with the suspensions at UNC. South Carolina didn’t give anyone much to be excited about last week vs. A&M and have some major question marks on both sides of the ball. South Carolina will probably pull away late in this game but expect ECU to keep it close and beat the spread. ECU (+17). Steve Spurrier Visor Throw O/U 3.5

GUEST PICK

This week’s guest pick comes from the hilarious LA based actor, Brett Maline (@Breezy_f_baby):

Michigan State (+11.5) going up to Oregon? Come on guys let’s face it, if Michigan State’s defense were a chick, it’d be that girl in high school that would only make out with you if you didn’t touch any other part of her body than her face…she’s impossible to score on. The last team to gain over 250 total offensive yards on Michigan State was Nebraska last year in the middle of the season…I know that cus’ I’m from Nebraska and we hold on to things like that. Can we talk about the over/under on this Oregon/Michigan State game too? 58? Guys…I know Oregon can put up points but this is the Big Ten’s top defense and I can promise you it’s not gonna be a shootout. If I had money, I would spend it on a nice luxury sedan. But if I had more money…I’d bet on this game and relax the whole weekend. Cheers. Drink Bud Light.”

- Michigan State (+11.5) vs. Oregon
- Michigan State vs. Oregon Under 58

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Guest Picker, Brett Maline (@Breezy_f_baby)

And don’t forget to check out “How to Break Up With Your Girlfriend Before Football Season” in it’s entirety on YouTube including the episode below featuring our Guest Picker, Brett!

Powers Arbuckle signing off…

Agree/Disagree? Tweet me at @NikolasHolmes or @PowersArbuckle. All lines via Bovada.lv

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