FEB. 16, 2012


Actress Fran Drescher has obtained her minister licence, allowing her to wed same-sex couples in the state of New York.

Good news, because I think she’s the perfect example of a woman who would turn men onto other men.  


A 56-year-old Oakland University student was banned from the campus after writing a lengthy essay about how hot his teacher was.

Dude, you know you still could’ve told the world how you felt and not have gotten expelled if your essay was just bathroom graffiti.


The man who plead guilty to trying to blow up a U.S. airliner with a bomb hidden in his underwear in 2009 has been sentenced to life in prison.

Here’s a tip: When you’re in jail and they ask you what you’re in for, don’t say anything about an explosion in your pants.


Two cats who were discovered to be living with a neo-Nazi  are now looking for a home after the terror suspect deemed the cost of taking care of them to be too high.

This story will be told in next summer’s animated Dreamworks comedy “Mein Furball”.


A Frontier Airlines flight from Omaha to Milwaukee was delayed after the pilot was suspected of being drunk and kept from boarding the plane.

I bet he would have stayed sober if Mark Wahlberg was on that flight.


Sir Paul McCartney has said that he will be giving up smoking pot for the sake of his eight-year-old daughter Beatrice.

He’s been thinking of quitting drugs ever since his ex-wife Heather Mills said she wouldn’t STAND for it.


In Winnipeg, animal rights group PETA has asked the government to set up a road-side memorial commemorating the deaths of 71 cows killed in a road accident.

If you can believe it, they actually did: